Listy-loo

The Weirdest Celeb Crushes

2009-01-30T10:25:00.003-05:00

The title says it all. Every once in a while I develop a very odd celebrity crush. It usually involves someone I think is not generally attractive. It usually happens when I am overly tired for an extended period of time or going through some kind of weird hormonal change. Currently, I am suffering from both of those circumstances. These guys as a rule are not cute. However at one time or another I had mad crushes on them. What's a girl to do? Here is my list of my

4 Weird Celebrity Crushes

1) Conan O'Brien- this happened during college and during a time when I didn't have a boyfriend. I think I was just a bit lonely!

2) Seth Rogan- I watched Knocked Up when I was pregnant over an over again. Maybe it was some hormonal thing. Maybe it was the new Seth Rogan who slimmed down for The Green Lantern. Whatever the reason it is inexcusable.

3) Mover Rich- if you don't have kids, you don't know who this guy is. He is on Imagination Movers, which I watch every day. He is the only cute one. Oh, and he's the drummer.

4) Jon Stewart- this celeb crush started my freshman year in college and continues to this day. Some of you may feel the same way about Jon. He is not good looking but he is funny and smart. If he were not 5'4", this could be something legit!

Its Been A While

2009-01-16T10:43:00.002-05:00

I am finally getting around to writing a new post. It has been some time since I have had any free time to post anything. My Little One showed up in mid- December and I have been parenting 'round the clock since then. When you are in the thick of a new baby it feels like you will never get your life back. Ever. Having done this once before I know that at some point things will get more manageable. I started thinking last night about all of the things I haven't done in a long time. Jay-bee returned last night from a night out with the boys and it made me a bit wistful for my old life. Here is my list of

5 Things I Haven't Done In A While

1) Go To The Movies
2) Drink
3) Sleep Through The Night
4) Eat Sushi
5) Left My Apartment

Possibly Maybe

2008-11-13T14:56:00.002-05:00

OK, OK, it has been a while since I have written anything worthy of posting. I know. Here is the problem and it is something new for me. I have become a bit indecisive. Normally I hate it when people can't make up their minds. In fact, it drives me mad. Now I am the person who can't seem to make any big decisions. Right now I am blaming the pregnancy hormones. I hope that once we bring the little one into the fold, that will help and give me some clarity. Here is my list of

4 Things I Can't Make A Decision About

1) Baby Name- we had something all picked out and now we have started looking all over again. I just don't know what to do. I can't find anything I really love. Except Henry. I love it but we know too many people who have used it already. So that is off the table. Back to square one.

2) Moving- I love my neighborhood.I love the people here and the friends I have made. However, we live in a minuscule apartment with no laundry facilities and no dishwasher. It is enough to make me crazy some days. If Jay-bee and I could ever find a place to move to we probably would. But I would cry for a long time about leaving the city.

3) Career- when I stopped working, I was in music management. I really enjoyed my job and the people I worked with. Now when I think about what I wan to do for a living I think about something that really means something to me and making an impact on the world I live in. I want my work to have a greater purpose. Now, I just have to figure out what that is.

4) The Blog- I can't decide if I am going to maintain this blog or not. Am I really going to have time with a 3 year old and a new born? I think I could write some crazy (and possibly funny) stuff at 3 AM after 2 hours of sleep. We shall see. I guess when this starts to feel like one more thing I have to do then I will just call the whole thing off!

Really Make A Differnce!

2008-09-17T14:49:00.002-04:00

If you watched Monday's episode of Oprah, then you are probably as horrified and disgusted as I am. On line predators are a HUGE problem in America today and law enforcement is woefully underfunded. The current estimate is that officials are only able to pursue 2% of the Internet predators that are "working" online today. For those of you with weak math skills, that is 1 child out of 50 who is being molested or raped. I AM NOT OK WITH THAT STATISTIC!

I hope you are not OK with that too! Law enforcement needs more funding to pursue the leads that come in on cyber crimes dealing with children. Senate Bill #1738 Protect Our Children Act which is coming up for a vote before the break at the end of September www.senate.gov provides all contact information for all US Senators.

3 THINGS YOU CAN DO

1) Email your Senators- please go to www.senate.gov and pick your state and find your senators. Click on web form and copy the letter below into the box and send it on its merry way!

Dear Senator: I know that you believe, like I do, that we must do everything possible to protect children from sexual predators. That is why I am asking for your help. Last year alone, U.S. law enforcement identified over 300,000 criminals who were trafficking in movies and pictures of young children being raped and tortured. Experts say that one in every three of these criminals has local child victims. Child pornography trafficking over the Internet has given us a trail of evidence that leads straight to their doorsteps, but the vast majority of these children will never be rescued because investigators are overwhelmed, outnumbered and underfunded. As your constituent, I urge you to do everything in your power to pass the PROTECT Our Children Act (S. 1738, Biden-Hatch). This bipartisan legislation passed the House 415-2, but it is now the victim of petty partisan politics. Now that we know where these children are and how to protect them, there is no excuse for the Senate to fail to take action this session. (Your name here)

2) Call your Senators-be sure to tell them, "Vote yes on Senate Bill 1738—The PROTECT Our Children Act."

3) Write Or Fax Your Senators- Use the sample above to fax or snail mail them!

Love Hate

2008-09-15T10:09:00.002-04:00

I have always had a bit of a split personality. Not literally of course, you aren't going to see me staring in Sybil! However, I have come to the conclusion that there are things in my life that I have truly mixed feeling about. Some days I hate these things and some days I think they are great. Most things have pros and cons. These particular things are really getting to me as of late, one way or the other. Here is my list of

5 Things I Have A Love/ Hate Relationship With

1) NYC- love going to the park and all the wonderful things the city has to offer, hate the cost of living and how little regard some people have for each other here.

2) My Target- love Target, hate my Target on Queens Blvd cause they never can keep enough stock of many many things.

3) Pregnant Body- love the fact that I am pregnant and don't mind giving up Sushi and drinking, hate the aches & pains and the general freak show I feel like.

4) Food- love cooking, hate being fat from eating the cooking.

5) Cleaning- love the feeling of a clean house, hate the time & energy it takes and the fact that I will have to do it all over again very soon. Cleaning is one of those things that is NEVER done.

Weatherly

2008-09-07T10:44:00.002-04:00

Being from Florida and still having a good deal of my family still living there, hurricane season is always of interest to me. I have been watching a lot of the Weather Channel lately and I have to say, I feel a little bit smarter! I always learn something new from the boring people there. I have picked up some new words along the way and I thought I would share my favorite weather terms with you. If you want to know what each of these terms mean, go to the NOAA website! Kill some time at your boring job! I wanted to blog about Sarah Palin but that seemed too easy and thinking about her makes my blood pressure skyrocket. So here is my list of

8 Awesome Meteorology Terms

1) Cone of Uncertainty- my favorite hurricane term. It sounds like ice cream from a sketchy truck in your 'hood.

2) Anticyclone- but hey, who isn't anticyclone.

3) Doldrums- this is a real weather word. I thought it was just a fun adjective.

4) Anvil Zits- how can I pass up a term that has the word zit in it to describe weather!

5) Blustery- I like this word just because it reminds me of Winnie The Pooh.

6) Depth Hoar- This made me laugh out loud when I read it.

7) Dry Slot- Maybe if you aren't a depth hoar you have a dry slot. I dunno.

8) Suction Vortex- Maybe similar to depth hoar. Maybe not.

Freezer-licious

2008-09-03T13:55:00.002-04:00

In the process of nesting, something has occurred to me. No one is coming to fill the deep freezer like last time so I better get to thinking PDQ. That is ok by me. I like to cook. What I have trouble with is coming up with things to make. Now I have to come up with things to make that can freeze well. Yikes. That I am not so good at. You will notice that this particular list is short. Very short. That is because this particular entry is an attempt to gather ideas and suggestions. PLEASE leave some ideas behind so that my family is not living off of pot pie and soup. Here is my list of

4 Meals That Freeze Well

1) Soup- almost any kind of soup freezes well! My two current faves are black bean and a dairy free tomato.

2) Lasagna- just your basic one. I do put spinach in mine to bump up the nutritional factor in mine.

3) Chicken Enchilada Casserole-a recipe from my MIL that is awesome. It takes a little time but it is so yummy!

4) Pot Pie- I actually haven't made this and then frozen it yet. We shall see how it goes. I am sure it will be fine.

I Heart The Olympics

2008-08-11T22:25:00.002-04:00

I am completely geeking out for the 2008 Olympics! This is nothing new for me. Every four summers I gear up for the best competition on the planet. I have to admit I don't get as excited for the winter Olympics as I do for the summer. I think it all has to do with growing up in Florida and not learning any winter sports ever. Anyhow, I get swept up in the whole thing. All of it! There isn't anything I don't like about it. Here is my list of

4 Things I Love About The Olympics

1) The Spectacle- This year's opening ceremony was jaw-dropping. I have never seen anything like what they did. There is always a lot of pomp and circumstance in a fun way at the Olympics.

2) The Culture- I learn a little something about the host country every time. The networks do a fair job of giving a bit of cultural and historical background . I am not saying you could watch the stuff on China this year and get a Masters in Chinese history but it does leave you a bit more informed than when you started.

3) The Heros- I live for those amazing personal stories. The stories of athletes overcoming all odds just to get to the Olympics to do what they love. My personal favorite of this year is the story of Lopez Lamong, the flag bearer in the opening ceremonies and who is competing in the 1500 meter race for track and field. His story is unreal and inspiring.

4) The Drama- the close relay race finishes, the agonizing falls, the underdog taking the win- nowhere is the drama of sport more obvious than at the Olympics. It is such a big part of what makes the Olympics great.

By Any Other Name?

2008-07-30T21:49:00.003-04:00

My absolute favorite part of being pregnant is coming up with a name for the baby-to-be. I live for it. I pour over baby name books. I dig up old family names, take suggestions, and mull over name combinations. On Monday I am going for my 20 week sonogram and we will find out the sex of Baby B. This will narrow down the field by 50%, hopefully making the job a bit easier. My other half knows that I am a bit obsessive in the naming process. He sent me an article the other day which had the world's worst names in it. Now I have discussed weird celeb kid names before but these are names from everyday people. I remind you that these are REAL names. Here is my list of

8 Worst Names In The World
1) Number 16 Bus Shelter
2) Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii
3) Fish and Chips
4) Yeah Detroit
5) Benson and Hedges
6) Sex Fruit
7) Violence
8) Variable

Running Out Of Clever TItles

2008-07-12T15:28:00.002-04:00

It is true, I am running out of clever titles to give to my blog entries. No clever intro either today. Here is my list of

7 Things That Weird Me Out

1) UFC- I hate that my husband watches this crap. It is mixed martial arts fighting and humanity at its worst.

2) Miley Cyrus- she looks like a little rodent. I a sure she is a sweet kid but between looking like a beaver and speaking like a middle aged smoker, she just creeps me out!

3) Thongs- maternity thongs specifically. I know a lot of women wear thongs and like them but ladies, they are not kind to your vagina! And if you are pregnant and wearing a thong, you should be committed. Pregnancy is uncomfortable enough!

4) Thoroughbred Horse Breeding- there was a story on HBO's Real Sports about the business of breeding race horses and it was disgusting! All I will say is that there was a little too much human involvement in the whole "process" for my taste. Yuck!

5) Competitive Eating- it really is revolting to me to watch it.

6) Beets- I tried one of these at Mesa Grill. If Bobby Flay can't make it taste good, it never will!

7) Cabs With Rims- oh yes, they exist! I saw one outside my building the other day. I only wish I had a camera to take a picture of it. Just not right.

Killing Time

2008-07-08T13:31:00.001-04:00

For some of you who know me in my real life, you know that I am pregnant. I am very excited and happy about all of this since hubby and I have been trying off and on for a while now. I am due in December Now for me and my type A personality, that seems like a lifetime away. I have devised a way to mark the time without driving myself crazy. At least I think I won't go crazy. So maybe you too are crazy excited about something that is happening in December. Perhaps my little list will help you pass the time. Here is my list of

8 Event Markers To Help Count Down To December

1) NC Vaca- coming up soo to be filled with BBQ, in-laws and other people to mind the little one. Can't complain about any of those things!

2) The Olympics- I am a total geek for the Summer Olympics. I watch all the swimming I can. I also can't help but be taken in by all the personal stories of the athletes. If Bob Costas narrates it, there is a good chance I will cry!

3) Thud's Bday- come mid August, Thud turns 3!! The plan was to go down to Disney but said pregnancy has put those plans on hold. We are off to a theme park in PA that will probably disappoint mom and dad, having lived in the theme park capital of the world. Thank God Thud will not know the difference. Not yet anyway.

4) NCAA Football Season- I am a huge UF fan. I won't fit into my sweatshirt this year but I can still watch all the games I can find on TV.

5) Birthday Season- From mid September to mid October, it is birthday season in our neighborhood. We will probably have a birthday party every weekend for a month. I like going to kid's bday parties. The kids are always excited, you get to actually talk to some of the other parents, and free food!

6) Halloween- I love Halloween. I have come up with the best pregnant lady costume ever and will share with you at said time. We have a fun little parade in the 'hood and a good time is had by all.

7) Thanksgiving Prep- I make Thanksgiving every year, since we usually go home for Christmas. There is some amount of prep involved. This year I am grateful to have it to take my mind off of things. I am just hoping to still be pregnant at Thanksgiving as Thud was 6 weeks early!

8) December 1-I am due on 12/21. My goal is to be pregnant until December 1st. That is my wish. Dear God, I hope my body makes it!

Hilarious George

2008-06-24T16:56:00.002-04:00

"Whover coined the phrase 'let the buyer beware' was probably bleeding from his asshole."- George Carlin

This week marked the passing of one of the most influential comedians of the 20th Century. George Carlin was incredibly smart and dangerously funny. I loved watching his HBO specials as a kid growing up. His last special was made earlier this year and he was scheduled to get the Mark Twain Prize for Humor this year. I am sad to know there will be no more HBO specials. I am sad to know that the Kennedy Center will be missing its honoree in the fall. Here is my list of

5 Facts About George Carlin

1) The Tonight Show- Johnny Carson loved him. As a result, he made over 130 appearances over the course of his career!

2) SNL- He was the first host of the first episode of SNL. He was also high on cocaine while doing it.

3) The Radio- He started out on the radio as a DJ.

4) The Law- he was arrested for using the "7 dirty words" on the radio. The case, FCC vs Pacific Foundation 1978, went to the Supreme Court.

5) Grammys- George Carlin won 4 Grammys. All for comedy albums of course!

Cinematic Charm

2008-06-04T10:04:00.002-04:00

Well, I am back from the land of tea and Queens. London was wonderful and I had a great time. I got to see a friend I haven't seen since she moved across the pond, I didn't have to worry about any one's food allergies, and I slept in a bit. All fab luxuries in my every day life. I tried to keep up with the day to day goings on in London with the news but had no idea what they were talking about half the time. Then it occurred to me- all my "knowledge" of Britain comes from 2 places- BBC America and the movies. I wanted to have a bit of a British film festival before I left but there wasn't time. Here, anyway, is my list of my

7 Favorite British Movies

1) Sense and Sensibility- my favorite movie ever made.

2) Bridget Jones' Diary- just funny and fun. And who doesn't love Colin Firth?

3) The Full Monty- we used this as research when we did Blood Brothers in college.

4) Love Actually- There are some great shots of London in this movie. I also happen to love all the actors in it as well. Except for Keira Knightly. I hate her.
5) Calendar Girls- a great comedy about growing old gracefully!

6) Saving Grace- a great little movie that "does".

7) Braveheart- if you are in the mood to hate the British, nothing will make you feel more justified than this film. I saw this movie right after I was rejected from studying abroad in London. I was glad I wasn't going after watching Braveheart.

On Holiday

2008-05-20T14:28:00.003-04:00

We are shutting down for holiday and will be back next week. Enjoy your 3 day weekend!

A Night Stand

2008-05-14T11:26:00.002-04:00

If you couldn't guess from the length between posts, I am running a bit dry on ideas for the blog. I am about to post the lamest post I've done in a while. Here is my list of

7 Things On My Night Stand

1) A Toy Backhoe- it doesn't belong to me but somehow it ended up in my space.

2) Tweezers- I think I was plucking my eyebrows and they just ended up there. That happens a lot in our house.

3) 3 Books- Toddler 411, Ladies of Liberty, and a book on Silver Springs in Florida. I can recommend the first 2 books but the third was a freebie that Jay-bee brought home from work. Nothing terribly interesting.

4) TONY Kids- this issue is about real estate and calls Queens the new Brooklyn if you have kids. My neighborhood is first in the article of places to live in NYC. This is frightening to me. I don't want any more people in our neighborhood. We still don't have a grocery store to speak of or a library.

5) A Light bulb- I bought one of those FCBs to replace the bulb in my lamp. Anything to be greener. Except those new bulbs have mercury in them. Yuck!

6) A Mother's Day Card- I got this while I was still in bed on Mother's Day so it stayed close by.

7) Cheap Eats London Guide- I leave a week from tonight and it looks like food is going to be my biggest expense. I am doing a thorough investigation of cheap food around the city. I hope it works out. I don't want to pay $35 for meals for 5 days.

What's In A Name

2008-04-29T21:34:00.003-04:00

I read today that Jason Lee (of My Name is Earl fame) is having a baby. Well, he isn't having the baby- his girlfriend is. He already has a son from a previous relationship. Does anyone know what his son's name is? Anyone? Michellephant? Pilot Inspektor.

Seriously.

Ok, celebs, we get that you are artistic and quirky. We get that you have chosen the road less traveled. Do your kids have to as well? I mean that name is just cruel. Both his names are jobs. So weird. I have taken it upon myself to create my list of names for the soon-to-be tyke. Here is my list of

5 Possible Names For Pilot Inspektor's Sibling

1) Fisher Runner
2) Stewardess Bambi
3) Drummer Joe
4) Poet Songstress
5) Shoez Magee

Stand Up

2008-04-22T07:37:00.003-04:00

My parents were never really strict with me. This lead to two things- I could watch whatever I wanted and didn't have a bed time on the weekends. Oh should specify that I mean elementary school age at time being referenced. I will not let my child watch whatever he wants. I was taken to see Flash Dance at 6 (how inappropriate) and Poltergeist at 7 (nightmares for weeks). The only benefit of this whole nonsense was that I watched a lot of SNL and HBO comedy specials. From the time I was about 8, I have been really interested in stand up comedy. I have watched a lot of stand up. I heart comedy. It is my secret dream to do stand up but I lack the balls. Instead of living my dream, I will make a list. Here is my list of

9 Awesomely Funny Stand Up Comedians

1) David Cross- I talked with someone recently who knew him from Arrested Development and didn't know he did stand up. He is a great comedian! I would like to see him live.

2) Maria Bamford- she is quirky and funny and has great timing. She is also the only girl involved in Comedians of Comedy. If you haven't seen Comedians of Comedy, we shouldn't talk again until you've seen it.

3) Billy Crystal- a master. His HBO special in the mid 80's is beyond brilliant. It had sketches in the beginning that have that whole Christopher Guest crew. I am so sad that I didn't get to see 700 Sundays on Broadway.

4) Bill Hicks- you have to like Bill Hicks. He talked about things that comedians weren't talking about at the time. Sometimes he hated his audience. The rule of thumb is to NOT do that but Hicks was awesome at it. He is the comedian's comedian.

5) Joey Kola- You may not know him. I do. I got to work with him a few years ago. So funny and a great guy. He is a working comedian as in he was Rosie O'Donnell's warm up guy for her show and now he warms up the Martha Stewart Show crowd. I laughed so hard at him in a rehearsal that I thought I was going to choke. No lie.

6) Susie Essman- she is great on Curb but her stand up is hysterical. I really appreciate a woman who isn't afraid to work blue!

7) George Carlin- he isn't as funny as he used to be back in the day but he's still a classic. And classics never go out of style.

8) Chris Rock- the smartest comedian working today. It's that simple.

9) Jim Gaffigan- just when you think he is going to be all normal and stuff he starts using the voice inside his head and it is funny and weird.

Brit Speak

2008-04-18T09:29:00.003-04:00

I am very excited. Why? I am going to London town next month! I love London. I went there in 2004 and had a wonderful time and great experience. One of the good things about going to the UK is that you are traveling to another country but you don't have to learn a new language. Trying to speak another language makes me sweaty with anxiety. There are, however, variations in words and phrases that they use. Some of them don't make any sense. Some of them are kinda cool. Here is my list of

6 Ace British Words

1) Queue- it means to line up. It sounds so cute and friendly. Its more like they are asking you to queue up than telling you to form a line.

2) Cheers- the UK equal to Aloha. It means good-bye and thank you. I love a good multi- purpose word.

3) Fag- not what you think. It is slang for a cigarette. This is just one of those words that I like cause it means something so very different here. I think fag is a lower class term though. Not a big deal since I don't smoke anyway!

4) Ring- this is a verb across the pond. It means to call someone. It just sounds cooler to me than saying "I will call you.". Maybe I want to ring you instead.

5) Smart- like sharp or snazzy. It usually refers to some one's dress or how they look.

6) Wanker/ Tosser- jerk or jackass here in the states. It is just plain fun to say!

Wishes

2008-04-16T07:50:00.002-04:00

I have picked up a good many tricks along the path that is my life. I have tried many things and pursued a lot of interests. I have to say there isn't a whole lot left that I want to attempt. Every once in a while I am reminded that there are some things I still can't do- not because I am not good at. It is because I haven't tried. Here is the list of

4Things I Wish I Could Do

1) Garden- I have many relatives who garden. Hell, my step father owns a nursery. I can't keep a plant alive to save my life. The minute I have the space (IE a yard) I will be inviting all of my gardening relatives over to help and teach me.

2) Ski- I grew up in Florida. Guess what? There is no snow there! I went skiing for the first time at 26. It was a disaster. However, I am an idiot so I would like to try it one more time before I give up on it completely.

3) Speak Another Language- Oh, I took the required 2 years of a foreign language in high school (French if you must know). That doesn't mean that I can really speak it. I think the only thing I could do is order in a restaurant. Not too helpful when traveling. At least I know I won't starve in France.

4) Play Guitar- I am not sure why but I just always wanted to learn it. Maybe I have been listening to the Indigo Girls for too long!

Sesame Street

2008-04-08T09:05:00.002-04:00

I watch SS 5 days a week as many of you know. I have come to adore it as TV. Short and sweet, here is my list of

5 Reasons Sesame Street is Awesome

1) It is smart- it is one of the few children's shows that have true educational value. I think it is a contributing factor to Thud's strong verbal skills.

2) It's filmed in Queens- yup, just one 'hood north of us is Sesame Street. Well, not really but Kaufman Astoria Studios is but a bus ride away. I love it!

3) It's Retro- they still run stock footage from 1981. I like that there is something low tech about it. Some of the actors are still the same too. It will be a sad day when Maria retires!

4) It isn't annoying- many many kids shows are obnoxious! Either the stories are ridiculous or the child actors seem like they have been given an OD of adderol and have been shoved in front of the camera. SS is never like that.

5) Memories - because it is a bit retro, I get a bit nostalgic watching it. I also love that Thud enjoys something that I enjoyed as a kid.

Happy Addiction

2008-04-07T11:19:00.002-04:00

My husband and I share an addiction. We LOVE magazines. Can't have enough. Never. We have a bunch of subscriptions and still buy off the newsstand. It is a bit over the top. Magazines are perfect for people with short attention spans and people who like visual images. Here is my list of

7 Favorite Magazines

1) Cooks Illustrated- for the foodie in all of us. No ads, kick ass recipes and great tips, tricks and advice on tools. Every cooks dream!

2) Bust- fun and funky, they always have great people on the cover. The smart alt girls zine. I have subscribed to this for a long time. I even give subscriptions as Christmas gifts!

3) Dwell- a modern home/architecture magazine with a green theme. This is awesome. Beautiful homes that are modern. Beautiful homes that are environmentally responsible. They also talk a lot about prefab homes. I am really into those!

4) Martha Stewart Living- a classic, never to go out of style. So what if the crafts are not possible to replicate? Who cares if my decorating style isn't Connecticut country with an unlimited budget? I will buy this magazine until I die!

5) Wired- this is just one of the most interesting magazines around. They always have great articles. They could be boring and dry but they aren't. If you even think you like science, read this one. You won't be sorry.

6) Marie Claire- they do a good job of being a mainstream magazine that has something to say. They are a big supporter of V-Day and run a column every month written by Mariane Pearl about injustices to women around the world. They also have great beauty tips!

Newbies On The Roll

2008-03-31T22:34:00.003-04:00

For those of you who are regulars, you may have noticed something a bit new here. We've updated the blog roll!! We are big fans of all of the blogs we have on our list. We hope you have been enjoying them too. Take a moment or two and check out the new blogs. We are pretty sure you won't be sorry. And we're pretty sure its better than doing your work. Here is our list of

3 New Blogs Added To The LL Blog Roll
1) Diary Of A Mad Blacktress- check this one. It really is an adventure. She really isn't mad. Funny but not mad. A kick ass babysitter but not mad. Single but not mad. Well, some times she is mad about that I think.

2) Sassafrass Junction- you wonder why your high school teachers were crazy? You made them that way! It is kind of nice to know that if I had stayed in the south or ever move back there, there are people like me there- smart, smart-assed heathens.

3) Scorned Woman E Cards- just funny. Its that simple.

All By Myself

2008-03-30T16:24:00.002-04:00

A rare thing just happened in my home.The boys have gone and I am by myself. Usually the only way I have time to myself is by leaving and going into Manhattan. I really like being alone sometimes. I think everyone needs time to themselves. Everyone needs time to do some things they want to do. Now that I know for sure that I have a few hours to kill without having to worry about anyone else, I am making my list. Here is my list of

5 Things I Do When Home Alone

1) Listen To Music- I have music on a lot in our house but it isn't always what I want to hear. Now, I can blast what I want as loud as I want. Right now I am listening to "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz over and over. Not sure why though, it really isn't my style but it is catchy. I can't help but fall for catchy.

2) Do My Hair- blow drying my hair is about a 20 minute task. I don't always have 20 minutes. I love having my hair straight so any chance I get some time to do it, I do!

3) Read- even if it is just a new magazine. Reading with no one to bother you is such a luxury in my life. Reading in peace and quiet is not the same as reading on the train. It just isn't.

4) Shower- another activity I don't always manage to find time for. It is the reality of being a parent to a young child. I am hoping that taking Thud to pre-K next fall will permit me to get my showering schedule back on track like it used to be. Although, I do have to add I don't think it is healthy to shower every day.

5) Clean- I don't want to do this during my precious time but it is so much easier to accomplish. I can be a bit more detailed. Things look like I cleaned instead of looking like I have just tidied up. Luckily there are no dishes to do. Jay-bee did them all last night!!

Idiot Box 2.0

2008-03-28T18:17:00.002-04:00

Thud watches TV. It is not his activity of choice. He would rather be at the park running and playing. I am grateful for that! However, there is some routine to our TV watching. We usually watch the same stuff every day during the week. Weekends are all over the place so those days are much less predictable. I feel like I have been discussing children's TV with a lot of adults lately. These conversations are so odd. It is strange to break down the merits of Wow Wow Wubbzy! in an intellectual way. I just thought this might be something people are interested in. Here is my list of

6 TV Shows/ Movies Thud Loves

1) Sesame Street- If I had to choose one thing he could watch it would be Sesame Street. It really is the only children's show on television with true educational value. Plus, it has cool guests like REM and Tina Fey!

2) Max & Ruby- I am pretty sure I have seen every episode of this show ever made. It has absolutely NO educational content. The one redeeming thing about it is that it isn't a very commercial show. That means I don't have to buy all the crap that the toy companies make. There isn't a Max & Ruby section at Toy R Us like there is with Dora.

3) Cars- This has become our rainy day movie. We don't watch the whole thing but it sure is fun. I actually really like Cars.

4) Mary Poppins- I grew up watching this. I am glad that Thud likes it too! The music is awesome and anything with Julie Andrews in it is awesome. Except maybe The Princess Diaries. God, what the fuck was she thinking with that movie and its sequel?

5) Yo! Gabba Gabba!- This is the cool hip show on Nickelodeon. We don't see it very often but it is fun when we do catch it. I feel like I might not be cool enough to watch this show.

6) Curious George- We watch the movie of this, not the show. We haven't watched it in a bit but Thud always thinks George is very funny. He is always screaming at me, "Look Mom, what is George doing?" So cute!

A Little Behind

2008-03-25T14:35:00.003-04:00

Who isn't a little behind on things these days? It seems like everyone is so I think today is the perfect day for a list that everyone can identify with. The object of this list is to get me focused and doing things so that I can eliminate it from my life all together. Here is my list of

5 Things I Am Behind On

1) Correspondence- I am behind on some email AND snail mail. This always is in the front of my mind when I know I have things to do.

2) Sewing- I went fabric shopping 2 weeks ago and still haven't made my bag. There really is no excuse. Everything is cut out. All I have to do is sew some seams. Not hard.

3) Blogging- I have sat down several times at the computer since my last entry. Nothing happened. Sometimes I get a bit of a lull in my blogging. I am hoping this will help get things going again. I am also taking list suggestions from loyal readers!

4) Vacuuming- Always behind on this one. The problem is that I really should be vacuuming every day. Now my floors are in a constant state of "gross". One day I will have the Martha Stewart cleaned home.

5) Metrocard Locating- so last week Jay-bee gave me his Metrocard , as I was going out. Some how I managed to lose the monthly card. Yup. Just flushed $70 down the toilet. I looked several times over the past week with no luck. I know I should look a bit more but it is such a frustrating task!

Mrs. Krabappel

2008-03-14T22:49:00.003-04:00

Over the course of this week, several incidents have occurred that have left me feeling very old. I am not old. I am 31. The average life span of an American woman today is 79. I am not even half way there. This week I felt like I was at 70 and holding! I am chalking it up to a weird week. I am going to a spinning class tomorrow for the first time. I am hoping the combination of some serious exercise and doing something new will get me out of this rut. But for now here is the list of

5 Signs I Am Getting Old

1) Chasing Teens- not in the Deborah Lafave way (I went to the same high school as her BTW), but in the "Get off my lawn" kind of way. Except I live in NYC and don't have a lawn. I have a fire escape. So when I heard people on my fire escape the other day I got scared. I thought someone was trying to break in to my apartment. Once I realized it was teens trying to take pictures, I shooed them away like an old granny.

2) Best Plastic Bags- when digging out a bag for a friend, I thought "No I'll get her a Target bag. Those are the best." Yes, I think Target has the best plastic bags. The question is who the fuck cares? Old people, that's who.

3) Catch Phrases- I am stuck in the middle. I am either saying things at my son that my mother and grandmother said to me. That makes me feel old every day. Or I find myself using the phrases that the kids use. You know, the internet speak. Then I feel like an old asshole.

4) Tired- I am tired like in my bones and my soul. I think motherhood brings you a tired you never really recover from.

5) Illness- I get aches and pains and then I have a tendency to be a "worse case scenario" thinker. That means the usual health stuff sends me freaking out to WebMD.com to look up what kind of grave illness I may have.

Social Sins

2008-03-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

This week the Vatican has come up with a new list. Their list is of sins that are venial (not mortal) . In the catholic church that means you can still be forgiven for these. They aren't like murdering someone. So I thought I would repost this list just in case you didn't get to take a look at it. I actually think this is a fairly progressive thing the Catholic Church is doing. Keep these in mind! Are you doing anything on the Vatican's list of

7 Social Sins

1) Creating Poverty
2) Excessive Wealth
3) Pollution/ Environmental Damage
4) Drug Abuse
5) Bioethical violations (ie birth control)
6) Contributing to widening the gap between rich and poor
7) Genetic Manipulations/ Experiments

Date Night

2008-03-04T21:10:00.003-05:00

I am very lucky to be blessed with a great group of friends, most of which do not have children. This makes them ripe for recruiting them for babysitting! We have had some great volunteers over the last 2 1/2 years. We now have a new babysitter coming over this week. She was also here last week. I think that is awesome in itself! Anyhow, Funnygal is coming for the second week in a row and I don't want to spend another night out at the movies. I am trying to offer up alternatives to our usual "dinner and a movie" date. Here is my list of

4 Options For Date Night Besides "Movie & Dinner"

1) Bowling & Beer- I am a terrible bowler but I think bowling is lots of fun. The place I where I want to go has a great beer selection which is a big draw for Jay-bee.

2) A Cheap Motel- this isn't a realistic option for us cause it is hard to find an inexpensive motel in NYC but I think this would be fun to do just once!

3) Retail Therapy- mmmm, The Apple Store and a Barnes and Noble run without Thud! It sounds so peaceful. Maybe we could go to Crate and Barrel too. I can't take Thud in there either!

4) Live Music- we used to do this a lot when we were dating and first married. I never get out to music shows anymore. I wonder if anyone good is playing anywhere nearby.

5) Theater- this is for me mostly! I miss plays. Good plays!

Very Scary

2008-02-29T09:51:00.002-05:00

I finally got around to seeing No Country For Old Men this week. Holy crap it was suspenseful! Even Jay-bee was covering his eyes at one point. Now at night when I close my eyes to go to sleep, I can't get images of Javier Bardem out of my head. He really scared me. A lot. I am a big sissy pants when it comes to movies. I get scared fairly easily. Here is my list of

8 Scary Movie Villains

1) Dr Hannibal Lecter- just hearing his voice makes me almost wet my pants. It is true- some one who is calm is much scarier than a screaming lunatic.

2) Darth Vader- my childhood nightmare. I still have bad dreams every once in a while with him as the bad guy.

3) Anton Chigurh- the newest scary guy. I mean REALLY scary.

4) Max Cady- I think DeNiro is scarier in the remake of Cape Fear. What a psycho. I saw this movie in high school and as a teenage girl, it unnerved me to no end.

5) Bruce The Shark- more childhood trauma. Seriously, who lets a 4 year old watch Jaws? My parents. I am still afraid to go into the ocean, even when swimming in a triathlon!

6) Buffalo Bill/ Jame Gumb- another psycho from Silence Of The Lambs. For me the creepiest thing about him was he could have been someone you bumped into during the course of your every day life.

7) Joan Crawford- show Mommy Dearest to your 12 year old and they will straighten up and fly right if you know what I mean. She is still the scariest mom in town.

8) Jack Torrance- I didn't see The Shining until I got to college and it kept me awake for days afterwards. Jack is brilliant and it is Stephen King at his best.

Parched

2008-02-26T15:03:00.002-05:00

One of my childhood friends sent me one of those email surveys where you fill in answers to silly questions. One of them I had a hard time answering. What is your favorite drink? I have a lot of favorite drinks. It all depends on the circumstances of course. Its a simple list really but fun one none the less. Here is the list of

6 Favorite Drinks

1) Southern Drink- sweet tea with lemon. When I go back to Florida, I drink this by the gallon.

2) Childhood Drink- Minute Maid Fruit Punch. It is just so sweet and delicious.

3) Soda Drink- Coke from a fountain. I also like Cheerwine. However, I do not drink soda that much anymore. In fact I try to avoid it period.

4) Adult Drink- Sangria- I just love it. The best is to sit outside in the summer evening having sangria and chips and guac!

5) Everyday Drink- decaf iced tea. I still put lemon in this version too.

6) Cold Weather Drink- caramel macchaito. Damn you, Starbucks. This is like liquid crack in a cup. I have sworn them off all together like all the other high calorie, high sugar drinks I used to enjoy.

He Says, He Says

2008-02-20T15:11:00.002-05:00

This entry is an update on the kiddie front. For those of you who know little Thud, he has been talking for a while now and he talks a lot! Now he has moved on to say things that would be on that old TV show, "Kids Say The Darndest Things". Here is my list of

5 Sassy Things Thud Has Said Recently

1) "Mom, you take your hair down." My son didn't like it the other day when I put my hair in a ponytail. I now know how it feels to live under a dictatorship.

2) "Mamaw and Papaw need to come visit us."- Yes, little one, your grandparents can just drop their lives and run 1200 miles north for a visit. Jeez! My in-laws are thinking about coming for a vis it in April. I hope Thud can wait that long!

3) "No nap, no quiet time!"- I am now putting in 12 hour mommy days with no break. I thought that was against union rules. My son has been not taking his regular nap for the past 5 weeks. It is the current bain of my existence.

4) "You take your green shirt off"- Thud said this and then tried to forcibly remove my shirt from me. Thank God we weren't in public. He was very angry about the fact that I had a green shirt on. What is wrong with this kid?

5) "I hit my Mom."- I am admitting my most embarrassing parental flaw to the world right here. When my son gets upset, mad, frustrated, angry, etc. he says "I hit my Mom" and then attempts a few swings at me. I am mortified by this behavior and have taken steps to correct it. They are having little success. Ggrrrr!

A Little Overindulgence

2008-02-13T22:36:00.003-05:00

I do not consider myself a shop-a-holic. I enjoy browsing as much as the next girl but when it comes to making a commitment at the register, I tend to get cold feet. I can also talk myself out of buying lots of things. Like anyone, there are always exceptions to this. Always! Here is my list of

5 Frivolities I Could Overindulge In

1) Make Up and Hair Products- I could go into Sephora and drop $500 in a matter of minutes. I am a cheap skate who sees nothing wrong with paying $40 for mascara or $50 for hair conditioner from the Amazon rain forest.

2) Electronics- I see other people with new gadgets and I want them too. Iphone- want it!

3) Chocolate- oh how I adore chocolate. I can't think of anyone who doesn't. I really like Vosges. They have really interesting flavors and make a candy bar with bacon. Who cares how much it is?

4) Accessories- I am not as in to clothes any more. I can't really own nice clothing at this stage in my life. They run a high risk of getting ruined. Now my focus is accessories. I have always loved bags and shoes. Wallets and key fobs now do it for me too!

5) Books- I have a running list of books I want to get/buy. Right now there is 10-12 books on it. We are running out of room for books at my house. That is a good thing, right?

Ver Batem

2008-02-10T22:23:00.000-05:00

The other day at a play date, Rach made a reference to Trading Places by saying a joke told in the movie. I got it right away. I know that movie like the back of my hand. I realized there are a bunch of movies that are like that for me. I can say all the lines or some cases, sing all the songs. Here is my list of

9 Movies I Know All Of The Lines To

1) Steel Magnolias
2) Grease
3) Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
4) Sense and Sensibility
5) Coming To America
6) Napoleon Dynamite
7) 9 to 5
8) When Harry Met Sally
9) The Princess Bride

Friends Are The Friendliest

2008-02-08T10:56:00.001-05:00

My friends are an essential part of my life. My college friends in particular are like my 2nd family. I was able to get together with a bunch of them last night for drinks and to talk and catch up. I think a good time was had by all. I love that I can go months or in some cases over a year without seeing some of them and pick up right where we left off- the sign of any beautiful friendship! So last night as were muscling our way over to sit down at a table, I looked around and was reminded as to how lucky I am to have these people in my life. They all have something different that they give me. Here is my list of

5 Things I Count On From My College Friends

1) Support- it has come in all sorts of forms from these guys. It might be babysitting from Shannonymous or a Panera visit with Big Bill that makes my day go by faster or a movie with Tinselteeth ( I think I have to re- title her. The braces are gone now!) They have all helped me in some way and they may not even know it.

2) Havin' A Laugh- these people are funny. Plain and simple. My face always feels a bit tight on the way home. In a good way.

3) Honesty- I feel like for the most part my friends are honest with me in a good way. They are not mean about telling me things that I need to hear. I think if your friends can't be honest with you, than no one can.

4) In Spite Of- my old friends love me in spite of my self. They take me for who I am, flaws and all. I think a few of them even enjoy a few of the flaws in a weird way!

5) A Simple Understanding- These are people with whom I have had life changing experiences with. They have been to funerals and weddings with me. We have faced criticism and praise, put in crazy insane hours on projects with one another. My college experience was an equivalent of "The War" in my life. My comrades experienced the same things with me. We have been there and back together- I don't have to fill them in on things.

Sooner Or Later

2008-02-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

It was bound to happen. I think it is the fate of most people. At some point in our adult lives we realize we are turning into our parents. I have mixed feelings bout becoming my mother. On one hand, I think she is a great person. I love her and admire her. On the other hand, I watched her make some mistakes I do not care to repeat. Like everything, its about finding balance. Having said that, there is at least once a day that I am reminded that I am turning into my Mom. Here is my list of

4 Ways I Am Becoming My Mother

1) Weird Packages- I used to get the weirdest things sent to me in college care packages. Like coupons and beauty samples. Now I can't seem to break the cycle as I just sent Vivi a package with a bra and a random book. Yeah weird, I know.

2) Saying Stuff- I know everyone does this one. I hear myself saying things to Thud that Mom used to say to me. My favorite was "You kids are going to drive me to drink!". I try to avoid that one. I want to say it like 20 times a day but I haven't yet.

3) Losing My Mind- in my teens, I thought my mother was crazy and she was. Why was she that way? I made her that way. Me and my brother. Yes I have contributed to the mental demise of a fellow human being. Mom- I am so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, it is happening to me!

4) My Opinion=Important- I realized that I have this weird need to tell everyone what I think about most things. I don't have the ability to keep stuff to myself. Not everyone wants to know how I think they should be living their own lives. This is my mother in me. Big time. This is one of those things I am making an effort to change!

Southern Speak

2008-01-28T14:12:00.000-05:00

Well truth be told I am not really southern. Some of you may already know that. I was raised in the south but not by southern people. So going out into the world around me was interesting. Other parents weren't like mine. They ate things like corn bread and went to churches where people talked in tongues. I was Catholic so the latter scared the living daylights out of me. We don't even talk out of turn at church. Anyhow, I remember hearing words and phrases used in ways that I didn't understand. They were always funny to me. Here are some of my favorites. Here is my list of

5 Fun Southern Words/ Phrases

1) Short- as in "Don't get short with me." A good definition of this would be snippy. The first time I heard someone use this in a sentence. I had to ask what they meant. I think I didn't hear it until I got to high school.

2) Cattywompus- as in "My necklace got all cattywompus when I didn't put it in the jewelery box." I love this weird word. It just oozes southern sound. I like to use it every once in a while around the big city folks just to get people laughing and talking. It never fails for that!

3) Sugar- as in "Give me some sugar". Meaning affection and or hugs and kisses. I tell my son this all the time. He now protests by saying "No sugar, mommy. No no!" I like giving him sugar.

4) Sass- as in "Don't sass me." Also popular with the little ones. It means backtalk or as my mom calls it, "lip".

5) Come by it honestly- as in "At least she comes by it honestly." My mother in law says this on occasion. It means someone is aware about their own flaw. Like me, I am not a good bowler. I know it. I admit it freely. I still go bowling but I am not going to act like I am a good bowler.

Bottoms Up

2008-01-22T15:46:00.000-05:00

I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to the consumption of alcoholic beverages. I started to get my drink on during the summer after my freshman year of college. Yes- I did manage to get through an entire college year without drinking. A miracle! Now that I have a diminished social life and a waist line that is not to my liking, I am thinking about giving up libations all together. Of course, this makes me think of all the drinks I like. Here is my list of

5 Favorite Drinks

1) Sangria- this is my fave drink of all time. This place in my neighborhood makes the best sangria I have ever had, La Vuelta. I drink this all summer. Good thing its winter.

2) Margarita- I like mine on the rocks with good tequila. Frozen is not my thing for these.

3) Rum Runner- this is my favorite frozen drink. They are popular in Florida. I moved here and tried to order one and the bartender looked at me like I was high.

4) LIC Iced Tea- Lounge 47 makes this particular drink. It is better than the regular LI Iced Tea and just as potent. This is a good drink to get when you are low on funds but you need a good buzz that will last a bit.

5) Red Truck Red Wine- we have one bottle left from Christmas. Maybe I will cook with it instead of drink with it.

By Year's End

2008-01-17T20:56:00.000-05:00

I would just like to start off by saying that blogging after a lot of red wine is not a good idea. We at the LL do not recommend it. It makes people sentimental and thus results in weird blog posts. I also can recommend Red Truck's California red wine. The 2005 is good but if you can find 2004, get that instead.

Since the New Year, I can't help but think about my little one. It really is amazing how much kids can grow and change in a calendar year. That got me thinking about this time next year. There will be a whole new arsenal of tricks. The sense of humor he has developed will change a bit. His social skills will get stronger. Here is my list of

6 Things Thud Will Be Able To Do By 2009

1) Sleep In A Big Boy Bed- this is planned for some time this summer. I think he is ready.

2) Use The Potty- I want this to happen now. I hate changing diapers on someone who could possible kick out a tooth.

3) Not Eat Crayons- apparently this happens around the 3rd birthday. Kids stop putting things in their mouths. I can't wait. It really is gross what my kid will put in his mouth.

4) Participate In Activities- right now, classes are a dicey option for us. I tried to do a music class and at the trial class, Thud spent the entire time trying to run out the front door. Awful!

5) Turn 3- no big party this year. Too much stress! I think we are going to go to Sesame Place and have breakfast with Elmo!

6) Play With Big Boy Cars & Trucks- lots of toys that Thud wants are for 3 and up. I am sure my house will be full of Hot Wheels cars by year's end.

The Small Stuff

2008-01-15T20:36:00.000-05:00

OK men, I thought I would take up this opportunity to clear up a couple of myths. The first thing is that in general, women don't really care all that much about the size of your dick. Or cock. Or penis, junk, stuff. Whatever you want to call it. It is true that it isn't how big it is, it is about how you use it. Really. Also, we can probably guess if you have a small one. Women know that there are a few tell-tale signs. Am I right, ladies? Can I get a witness? Guys, we just know. Here is the LL list of

3 Signs A Man Has A Small Stuff

1) An Expensive Euro Sports Car- not just any sports car. I am talking about if you're a sleazy guy with gold chains and you almost hit me at a red light with your Lotus, I am guessing you have nothing to brag about. And yes, extreme SUVs count here too.

2) A Loud Mouth- we've all heard these guys. They are the ones talking so loud on the subway or at a restaurant that you can't help but listen in. They want you to hear about what they've just done or the deal they made or the woman they just fucked. Dude, I hear you. I also hear what you're saying. You are saying "I have a small penis."

3) A Crazy Hairpiece/ Comb Over- I am just thinking about Donald Trump with this one. I think a man with confidence about his junk who is dealing with hair loss just shaves his head!

Never Enough!

2008-01-14T15:57:00.000-05:00

The old saying goes you can never be too rich or too thin. Like all Americans, I think there are some things you can never have enough of. They may not be exactly what you are thinking. Here is my list of

7 Things I Can Never Have Too Much Of

1) Sleep- I never ever say to myself, "I am perfectly rested right now." I do get a nap in every once in a while but it isn't the same as sleeping on your own schedule. Darn you , Thud!

2) Chocolate- I think most people will agree with this. I have only met one person over the course of my life that didn't like chocolate. My aunt tells me hungry has nothing to do with chocolate. I couldn't agree more.

3) Knowledge- its different than information. This is the stuff that age and experience teach you.

4) Make-up- the girly side of me thinks my make-up bag is always in need of something. I just really like this kind of stuff. Don't forget all the tools too- eyelash curler, brushes, etc.

5) Music- at my house there is an entire hard drive full of music. Under our bed, there are about 1500 CDs. There is always new stuff out there so you can never really get your fill!

6) Money- I guess this isn't as true as it used to be. Now there are people in the world who realize that they can't spend and will away all their money so they are giving most of it away. I am just thinking if I won the lottery, I would still do some serious investing and not quit my job- just find a different one!

7) Tea- hot or cold. sweet or unsweet. herbal or full strength. does it really matter? I can't get enough tea. Ever!

Home Is Where Your Hat Is

2008-01-09T12:19:00.000-05:00

This happens at our house every time this time of year. Getting back from suburbia and getting back into our urban routine is a bit jarring. The debate on moving continues. Since Jay-bee has nixed Florida as an option permanently, I have come up with some ideas in my own head. Here is my list of

5 Cities I Could Live In Besides NYC

1) Santa Fe, NM- i love this town! It is small and creative and interesting. If I could find a job there I would be packing my bags right now.

2) Raleigh/ Durham, NC- there are lots of things that are great about this part of NC. I could go on and on. Part of the draw is one of my good friends lives there! Oh yeah, and BBQ. Not Yankee BBQ. Real BBQ.

3) Atlanta, GA- I think this is about as far south as I could swing it. I need some change of seasons. I think they still get that in ATL.

4) Washington, DC- I have spent some time there and each time I go there I think "I could live here". It really is like NYC except politics are the focus of the town, not money and the arts.

5) Minneapolis, MN- the only thing that would keep this from happening would be the cold. Yikes! But Minneapolis has this really cool edge to it. They have a great art scene and my favorite store in the whole entire world has their corporate headquarters there.

Writer's Strike

2008-01-08T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well, it is official. TV now sucks more than ever. The writer's strike has left nothing but crappy reality TV and reruns. As I have said before, at this point in my life TV is my main form of entertainment. So what is a TV junkie to do? Here is my list of

10 Things To Do With Your Evening (instead of TV)

1) Read A Book
2) Drinks with the girls!
3) Vandalism
4) Run/ Go To The Gym
5) Go To The Movies
6) Grocery Shopping
7) Take A Class
8) Knit/ Crochet/ Craft of Choice
9) Throw A Pot Luck Dinner Party
10) Organize Your Life!

2008 Predictions

2008-01-07T09:04:00.000-05:00

We here at the Listy-loo have put on our psychic hats. We are making some predictions for the New Year. Be sure to keep these on file. We think you might be surprised how many of these come to fruition.

5 Predictions for 2008

1) Apple Continues To Fund My Retirement- so basically my retirement fund is completely invested in Apple Computers. This has been VERY beneficial over the last 8 years. The value of the IRA has continued to go up over time and I think this year will be no different. Viva Manzana!

2) Depp= Oscar- I think Johnny Depp will win the 2008 Oscar for leading actor. He was pitch perfect in Sweeney Todd.

3) Obama/ Clinton Ticket- Barak has already proven himself a force to be reckoned with in Iowa and it looks like he is poised to do the same in New Hampshire. I think he will take the lead and Clinton will end up with a VP slot on the ticket.

4) Bye Britney- clearly no one got her the things from our Christmas list for her. After this last incident I think one of two things are going to happen here. She is either just going to disappear from sight or she is going to die in some weird way. So sad. I hope she just goes into hiding.

5) LL Sticks It Out- We are saying right here right now that we are going to stick out our New Year's resolution. What is that, you ask? Our NYR is to be proactive about our own health. There have been a few incidents in the family with health that could have been prevented if people had taken control of their lives or been honest with themselves about their health. We do not want this to happen to us! We hope your 2008 is off to a good start!

A Bettin' Kinda Gal

2008-01-02T15:26:00.000-05:00

Normally I am not a gambler. I learned a long time ago that I am not a lucky person. I have the things I have because I make decisions that are true to who I am. I also am not much into absolutes but over the holidays I realized something: there are some absolutes that I can always count on and would wager money on them if I had any. Here is my list of

6 Holiday Absolutes

1) Leaving Something Behind- I always leave something behind in Florida. It never fails. This year it was Jay-bee's toiletry bag with our electric toothbrush in it. I didn't think it was possible to miss an electric toothbrush but I do. Come back to me, little Sonicare!

2) Thud Is Awesome!- My little one is always much better than I expect him to be when we travel. He sleeps better than I think he is going to and he is in better spirits as well. For someone who got much less sleep than he normally does, he was a chipper fellow all week. Maybe it was all the sugar cookies doting relatives gave to him! I do have to brag for a minute. We drove 1200 miles in one shot last week and he only cried once. No other complaints. He was a champ in the car! Did I mention we drove to Florida from NYC?

3) Tons Of Food + No Walking= Pain & Suffering- every year for the holidays I eat myself stupid and don't get any exercise as per the usual suburban existence. This year my body let me know in a not so subtle way that I simply can no longer do that. I will spare you the details but it wasn't pretty. I was reminded that I am in fact over 30.

4) Stewie's Soiree- every year one of my oldest and dearest friends has a Christmas Eve Eve party. I have been the last few years and I always have a good time. It is the kind of good time where I always want to stay longer and wish I had been able to talk more with everyone.

5) Time's Passing- when you go back to where you grew up only once or twice a year, it makes you realize how quickly time passes. Driving by my junior high and high school always remind me of this.

6) Never Going Back- at some point in our holiday travels, my husband will inevitably look over at me and say "I am so glad we don't live here anymore. I am never coming back here to live ever again." It varies as to when in the trip he says it. This year we were not even off the interstate 30 seconds and he started in. I get it, I get it! You don't have to tell me anymore.

Christmas For Britney

2007-12-14T14:36:00.000-05:00

I worry about her, I do. Britney is a wreck and the whole world is watching. According to the tabloids, she has alienated everyone in her life. That got me to thinking. Who is going to get Christmas presents for Ms. Spears? Well, I am going to volunteer myself for the task. I look at it as kind of like those mall "secret Santa" projects. You know the ones. The poor kids put their names on paper angels on a Christmas tree and you pick out an angel, find their list and get all the stuff for the kids. So this year my paper angel has one sad little girl's name on it. Here is my list of

6 Things To Get Britney For Christmas

1) Common Sense & Self Esteem- I know, you can't really give these to someone but it is what she needs the most. If Britney had these 2 things, I doubt I would be reading about her every single day on Perez Hilton.

2) An Island- this girl needs to be alone. I mean really alone. I think if she could get out of sight for a month or 2 then she could possibly get it together. Possibly.

3) A Coffee Maker- does she really need to go to Starbucks every day? Learn how to make your own coffee so you don't have to cause utter chaos at your local coffee house.

4) Supernanny- this would be the gift that keeps on giving. I love Jo Frost and I think she could whip Britney into Super Mom shape. Those poor kids.

5) Yoga Classes- everyone needs to breathe. Yoga changes people in a lot of ways, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually too.

6) Lifetime Supply of Victoria's Secret- I want to know that Brit's bits will be covered for all eternity. I can only pray that they bury her in underwear when the time comes.

Huh? Cinema

2007-12-12T14:55:00.000-05:00

I like movies and I like just about every cinema genre out there. I am a girly girl who can quote practically all of Steel Magnolias but I also happen to think Hoosiers is a great movie. There are some movies I can't seem to plug myself into. I have tried. Some of these movies are on my shelf at home. Jay-bee is a fan of some. I have watched some of them several times in an effort to get it. Here is my list of

5 Movies I Don't Get

1) Fight Club- too violent? too testosterone driven? I like David Fincher and Brad Pitt. This is one of those movies of "my generation" and I just couldn't get into it.

2) Tomb Raider- I just thought this was boring from beginning to end. Yet when I saw it at the movie theater it was packed. The box office take was huge. This movie made me feel removed from mainstream culture and I am ok with that if this is what mainstream culture has to offer.

3) Boiler Room- another guy movie that I own and just can not get excited about to save my life.

4) Titanic- even Kate Winslet can't save this bloated piece of crap. Ugh and that awful Celine Dion song.

5) Meet The Parents/ Fockers- in idiot making the same idiotic mistakes and accidents over and over again just isn't funny to me. However, Ben Stiller is laughing all the way to the bank I am sure.

The Little Things

2007-12-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

Just like things can make a day head south quickly, I have found that it works the other way too. A crappy day can be turned around by the smallest thing. In the spirit of the season, here is our list of

5 Things That Can Make My Day

1) Surprise UPS- getting an unexpected delivery from the UPS man is the best! First, it is a gift. Second it is a surprise and third I don't have to lug it anywhere. What is not to like?

2) Hot Noon News Item- Thud and I watch the news every day at noon during our lunch. What can I say I am a creature of habit. I love it when there is breaking news around this time. I can watch things unfold as they happen. I guess it engages my intellect more than doing the same truck puzzles over and over.

3) Watching Martha's Craft Show- I am always inspired and feel creative after it is over. I feel as if I could do some of the projects. I should do a list of all the Martha crafts I think I can do. I hope Santa brings me a sewing machine so that I could actually attempt some of them. I tried making hair bows and I don't think they went over well.

4) A Jay-bee Phone Call- I am always the initiator of most phone communication between us. It is nice to be receiving the call every once in a while. It makes me feel special and less needy!

5) Nap- not just any nap, a good nap. The kind where I wake up on my own and sleep just the right amount. Nothing beats a good nap. Nothing. Ask Michellephant. She knows.

101 Uses For Tomato Paste

2007-12-09T20:58:00.000-05:00

I have this tendency to over shop and over cook for just about everything. This summer, Thud's 2nd birthday proved to be no exception. For the party one of the things I made was BBQ sauce and I made the classic mistake of buying one of the ingredients from Costco. Long story short, I still have 7 cans of tomato paste in my VERY small kitchen. Now I am a woman with a mission. Use up my cans of tomato paste before I take off for the holidays. Here is my list of

9 Things To Make With Tomato Paste

1) Mom's Killer Sauce- my mom makes this AWESOME red sauce and the recipe calls for tp. Maybe I will make a double batch.

2) Chili- this was what I made for dinner tonight and just put a whole can in for fun. It turned out well!

3) Soup- you can make any tomato based soup with tp- tomato, minestrone, etc.

4) Gumbo- I heart gumbo. Also, it freezes well.

5) Pizza- use the tp in place of regular sauce. Try it- you might like it!

6) Pot Roast- using the tp in the braising liquid will add some great flavors.

7) Enchiladas- it goes in the enchilada sauce. I am making these tomorrow night.

8) Coq Au Vin- every once in a while you need to cook something classic and classy. Also, I have been dying to make something French since I read Julie and Julia. Thanks, Tinselteeth!

9) Sloppy Joes- a classic in my house. I didn't grow up eating these but I used to have sloppy joe and tater tot night at my house when I first moved to NYC. I think I am long overdue for another one of those nights.

My Christmas List

2007-12-05T23:28:00.000-05:00

While everyone is putting together a wish list of presents for Santa, we here at the LL have been dreaming up another list. At our house, Christmas means hauling ourselves to Florida. Hauling ourselves to Florida means babysitters and babysitters means that I can go to the movies!!! Over the past few days, I have been making a mental list of all the movies I want to see. Maybe we will even take Thud to his first movie. Here is my list of

7 Movies I Want to See in Florida

1) I'm Not There- this movie looks brilliant. It is the story of Bob Dylan's life where Dylan is played by several different actors, including Cate Blanchette!

2) Sweeny Todd- who doesn't want to see this? Even Jay-Bee is interested and he HATES musicals. This thing has cult classic written all over it.

3) Juno- this may not be playing in O-Town when we are there. It is an indie comedy that looks really smart. Everyone thinks teen pregnancy is funny and smart, right?

4) Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story- looks funny. Maybe not as funny as some of the other films from the same crew ( Talladega Nights, Anchorman, etc) but who cares. I would still be at the movies!

5) Atonement- the story of this film looks very intriguing. I am not a fan of this director so far- I thought Pride and Prejudice was over done. Oh and I do not like Kiera Knightly. Hmmm. Maybe I will wait for this one to come to cable.

6) Enchanted- looks cute and fun.

7) Bee Movie- if we take Thud to a movie, this would be it.

The Presents List

2007-11-29T15:06:00.000-05:00

Some of you may not know this but there are 26 days left until Christmas. Well, if that doesn't send you into a panic, I don't know what will. Now the question becomes what do you get for people. Sit back. Relax. Pour yourself another drink (sweet tea if you are moi).We here at the LL have got you covered.Click on the links to take you where you need to go. Here is our list of

5 Gift Ideas For People On Your Shopping List

1) Foodie Friend- chef calendar To me this says "I am a useful present with a wink". I mean come on, its chefs in a calendar. How silly. But still useful!

2) Bike Head- chain bottle opener I have a bike dork at my house. I saw this and thought it was a fun idea.

3) Serious Activist- animals This is a great gift for anyone actually. However, I think of my socially active friends when I get their holiday catalogue every year. This is a great organization. You purchase animals for families in need and then they either sell the chicken eggs for money or shave the sheep and make and sell wool. Super liberal!

4) Girly Girl- pedicure Send your girly friend to The Dashing Diva for a pedicure. They are the best there. The place is covered in pink! Just don't get a manicure there. Not as good.

5) Smarty Pants- Wired Magazine subscription It isn't just for the tech geek. Hell I read Wired on occasion. They are on top of everything that is the cutting edge of everything intelligent.

Reading List

2007-11-26T22:06:00.000-05:00

I have developed a bit of a reading list as of late. Really it is just my ADD kicking in. I start one book and then put it down and pick something else up. So I know have a few things gathered on the night stand. I would like to share them with you. I know, I am too kind! Here is my list of

Listy Loo's Current Reading List

1) Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell I just finished this book last night. It has been a while since I have read a book that hit so close to home. It is about a 30-ish girl living in LIC NYC with her husband and is a bit lost. She decides to cook every recipe in Julia Child's book Mastering The Art Of French Cooking in one year. If you feel a bit lost in your life, read this book. It will give you hope!

2) Toddler 411 by Dr. Ari Brown and Denise Fields A great parental go to. I bought this because Thud was a little out of control and I wanted to know how to "check" him. It is easy to read and co-written by a doctor and a mother. I like this much better than the "What To Expect" series.

3) Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee by Dee Brown This is the one book I haven't started. I have to admit I have not started it because I am afraid. I know a very little bit of the history in this book. I have a very sneaking suspicion that the events in this book are going to be much more horrifying than what I already know about. I will let you know how it goes.

4) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth Babies aren't born knowing how to sleep. You have to teach them and this book teaches you how to teach them. It also gives you solutions to sleep problems from ages 0-18. Not a bad gift for a new mom. Again, I was having sleep issues with Thud so this was purchased. Money well spent!

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T09:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Hope you have a great holiday. See you next week!

November- Not Just For Leftovers

2007-11-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

Except for Thanksgiving, November passes us by with not much notice. It is a time of year where everyone is focused on Christmas. Well, lots of things happen in November. In fact November is full of awareness and appreciation. Many organizations have randomly declared November the month of their particular cause. Here is our list of

8 Titles Bestowed Upon the Month of November

1) Military Family Appreciation Month- quick! Someone tell the White House about this. Now!

2) Adoption Month- I am adopted and I think everyone else should be too!

3) National American Indian Heritage Month- find a pow-wow a go to it. They are very cool and you'll expand your knowledge past what you've seen in Dancing With Wolves.

4) National Diabetes Month- if you aren't quite sure what diabetes is, now is a good time to learn!

5) Aviation History Month- brush up on your knowledge of things in the air.

6) Child Safety Month- it feels like this is every day at my house.

7) Alzheimer's Awareness Month- I don't mean to be cruel but doesn't this qualify as ironic?

8) National Impotency Month- oh dear.

To Do

2007-11-19T08:17:00.000-05:00

I have a lot of things to do with the holidays looming around the corner. In an attempt to streamline all my activities, I am writing out my To Do list on the blog today. I hope this helps me to be a better multi tasker! Here is the LL's

To Do List

1) Email The Super- some stuff going on in the apartment, including really loud sounds coming from beneath our living room. I am on the first floor.

2) Clean, clean, clean!- guests coming at the end of the week usually means that I clean all week. This week is no exception.

3) Money Stuff- just some general check book organizing. Nothing serious, but it needs to get done none the less.

4) Travel Plans- We still haven't made travel plans for Christmas yet. This is a problem for 2 reasons- the flights just keep getting more expensive AND I hate not having plans like this done and decided on. We may drive down to FLA. I don't know. We can't decide. I will let you know how it all goes down.

5) Cooking- I am going to try hard not to leave all my cooking for Thanksgiving until Thursday morning. Today is the day when I need to sit down and think about what I can make ahead of time and how far ahead I can make it. I also have to figure out how long I need to cook my maple & bacon turkey. Mmmm. Bacon.

Lyricly Speaking

2007-11-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

I don't like instrumental music. Never have. Never will. I think people who write great song lyrics are just geniuses. If done correctly, lyrics can take you over the range of human emotion. Here is my list of

8 Favorite Song Lyrics

1) "Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door/who is it for/all the lonely people/ where do they all come from" Elanor Rigby The Beatles

2) "In the morning when you finally go/ and the nurse runs in with her head hung low/ and the cardinal hits the window" Casmir Pulaski Days Sufjan Stevens

3) "The girl come undone/ I tried to down play it with a bit about us/ you said you could take it as long as I could/ I could not erase it" A Sorta Fairytale Tori Amos
4) "The things you can't remember/ tell the things you can't forget/ that history puts a saint in every dream" Time Tom Waitts

5) "One of us will die inside these arms/ eyes wide open/ naked as we came/ one will spread our ashes round the yard" Naked As We Came Iron & Wine

6) "You gotta cry without weeping/ talk without speaking/scream without raising your voice" Running To Stand Sill U2

7) "Together we're going a long long way/ In time the Rockies may crumble/ Gibraltar may tumble/ they're only made of clay/but our love is here to stay" Our Love Is Here To Stay Ira Gershwin

8) "I'm thinking its a sign/ that the freckles in our eyes/ are mirror images and when we kiss/ they're perfectly aligned" Such Great Heights Postal Service

Signs

2007-11-09T15:27:00.000-05:00

I am pretty sure this happens to everyone. You've been awake for less than 30 minutes and 2 or 3 or 4 things have already gone wrong. You know what is coming. You know you should turn around and head back under the covers. You know you are about to have a bad day. Here is our list of

4 Signs Your Day Is Going To Suck

1) Too Much Email/ Voice Mail At Work- you know the scenario, you sit down at your desk and turn on the computer or pick up the phone and you are bombarded with messages. I don't mean a few emails, I mean you have 80 or 100 new emails. That isn't a good sign. 25 voice mails are also not normal. If you can get out now, do so. If not, you are about to have a very bad day at work. Sorry.

2) Really Bad Weather- normally this doesn't qualify but when you live in NYC it does. Bad weather here can turn a 20 minute commute into 2 hours. It happened this summer and I think it will probably happen again once this winter.

3) A Change Up- you plan for something to go one way. Maybe you've even planned for something to go a few different ways. But that something has just gone the one way you didn't expect and has now thrown a monkey wrench in your day. This happened to me today. I planned an outing and nothing went how I planned and soured the rest of my morning.

4) Oversleeping- this always puts me in a weird place in my head that lasts all day. I guess that realization of oversleeping and then the panic that sets in just messes with me on a physical and an emotional level. Not even coffee can help me here.

Parental Dilemma

2007-11-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

My household has been in chaos as of late. Thud has run screaming into the terrible twos. I have to say now I know why Irish Coffee exists. This sweet little boy of mine is hardly recognizable most of the time. When you have a parental problem, there are a few things you can do- there are friends and family, the Internet or my personal favorite Hollywood. There are some great parenting lessons to be learned from the likes of Steve Martin and Sam Shepard. Most of them are funny, which always helps take the edge off of life. Some of them aren't. There is nothing like a reminder that there always someone who has it worse off than you. Here is my list of

6 Great Parenting Movies

1) Parenthood- funny yet honest. There is something for everyone in this. Also, it was filmed in Orlando so it is fun for me to play "Scout The Location" for this film.

2) Steel Magnolias- yes it is about southern women but at the heart of this movie is a real mother and daughter relationship. It is actually based on the playwright's mother and sister.

3) Spanglish- this movie is about the family you wouldn't want to be in but are too familiar with anyway. This is a good example of modern parenting dilemmas. There is also something very charming about Adam Sandler when he isn't trying to be funny.

4) Mrs. Doubtfire- I wish every divorced father went to these lengths to see his kids. It was refreshing to see a movie about a dad trying hard to see his kids!

5) Baby Boom- this is one of those movies I have to watch all of if I come across it on TV. It is funny and smart and the message of "You can have it all just not all at once" is a great and realistic thing for every parent to learn!

6) The Sound Of Music- he needs to learn how to treat his children like kids and not sailors and she is a nun with no "child" experience at all. And there is singing. Love it!

Happy Hot Halloween

2007-10-31T14:38:00.000-04:00

I am not dressing up for Halloween this year. It isn't because I don't like to dress up cause I do. I am a retired actress after all. I even looked for a costume. I have to admit it had been a while since I went costume shopping. Since when did dressing up for Halloween become "Be A Ho 4 A Nite?" I could not get over the amount of costumes at Ricky's that involved either thigh highs, fishnets or even pasties!!! Whoa! OK- I'll admit some costumes lend themselves to being sexy or on the risque side. A French maid's outfit doesn't come with an ankle length skirt and a turtleneck. However once I started looking through the "sexy" costumes, I just could not get over what they turned into sexy costumes. Here is my list of

6 "Un-Sexy" Sexy Halloween Costumes

1) Sexy Bee- you got me, when I think sexy I think insects. Maybe the stinger is the sexy part? All I know is that when a real bee is around me I try to get away ASAP. Why would I want a bee in a bustier any where near me?

2) Alice In Wonderland- this just isn't right. This is a child from children's literature. Yes, I know the back story on Lewis Carroll. That still doesn't justify turning a 7 year old into a"naughty" costume!

3) Candy Corn- really? Sexy candy? We are all a bunch of fat people who need to get laid. That's all I have to say about that!

4) Sexy Mental Patient- this costume I saw was a sexy straight jacket that you wear like a mini dress. I think it goes without saying if this is your costume of choice, you will be seeing your therapist on November 1st.

5) Sexy Nun- seriously, I haven't seen a nun under 60 in like 20 years. I guess you will attract the kind if guy who has grandma fantasies in this costume. Ewwww!

6) Sexy Federal DEA- this one was kinda random. Who has DEA fantasies? The drug dealer who secretly wants to get caught?

I Was Blind But Now I See

2007-10-26T13:52:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I came down with a little eye ailment. I went to the eye doctor and he gave me some medicines and sent me on my way with one instruction- no contacts. What? No contacts? How does one do that? I live in my contacts! If I could, I would have them surgically implanted in to my eyes. I feel self conscious in my glasses. I put them on and I revert back to that awkward shy kid who was afraid to talk to people. The problem is that as an adult people think you are being rude, not shy. I realized there were some practical things that I did on a daily basis that were much easier to do with contacts in. Here is my list of

6 Every Day Tasks That Are Hard To Do In Glasses

1) Taking A Shower- I can't see my hand in front of my face. How am I supposed to shave my legs or anyplace else for that matter? I have to say this was not fun at all. Showering with the glasses on didn't work well either.

2) Walking In The Rain- I guess this is the same concept as the shower. Now add a stroller with a 33 lb kid and you'll have an idea what it was like for me to walk home from the subway one afternoon!

3) Getting Hit In The Face- yes, this is an almost every day activity for me. It is usually accidental. However, one day it wasn't and Thud took a hard whack at me. My glasses actually scraped my face. It hurt and I was embarrassed. We left the park early that day.

4) Bathing My Kid- kids in bathtubs splash a lot. I am constantly wiping my glasses when I have to bathe him. Not fun!

5) Seeing Faces- I see much better with my contacts than I do with my glasses. I am not sure why but you could ask my eye doctor. He explained it to me. I have to be almost face to face with people to be positive I know them. It is kind if embarrassing.

6) The Shy Comes Out- I tend to not talk as much or go out of my way to speak up when I have my glasses on. I know, I need therapy. So if you see me with my glasses on and I am not talking to you, it is probably cause I am too nervous.

Bad Kids TV

2007-10-24T10:07:00.000-04:00

Before I had little ones, I was one of those people who said "I'll never let my kids watch TV". Who was I kidding? Thud now watches TV every day. I try to limit it and he doesn't have the attention span to watch too much. Like anything, there are good TV shows for kids and there are some awful TV shows for kids. Sesame Street is still the best thing on for the little ones. They even have cool celebrity appearances. Today, Elmo made Robert DeNiro act like a dog. I am not kidding. There are shows I absolutely dread watching. I try to avoid those altogether but sometimes I am overruled. Here is my list of

5 Awful Kid's Shows

1) The Big Comfy Couch- there is nothing redeeming about this show. It has no educational value, the lead actress is terrible and I think it is Canadian!

2) Thomas The Tank Engine- Thud LOVES Thomas. It is the most boring show to watch. Luckily in the last few years, they have had George Carlin and Alec Baldwin narrating. However, even they can't manage to keep me awake.

3) Barney & Friends- I think this is one of the most annoying children's shows ever created. I don't know why it is even still on TV.

4) The Wonder Pets- The animation on this show really creeps me out. The characters voices really creep me out. Maybe this is funny if you watch it while you are high- I don't know.

5) The Doodlebops- Kids think these people are rock stars. They look like total freaks and sing the most annoying songs. Mark my words, they will be this generation's Barney!

If I Had A Billion Dollars

2007-10-16T21:50:00.000-04:00

My financial situation as of late has had me wishing for money to fall out of the sky. I would happily live with the injuries caused to my person by the weight of a billion dollars in $100 bills. It's funny. When I used to play this game as a kid, it used to be "What would you do with $1 million?" Now a days, that doesn't seem to go so far. Damn you, inflation and consumer culture! Here is my list of

8 Things I Would Do With $1 Billion Dollars

1) Take Care Of Mom- it is my duty as a child to make sure that my parents are taken care of for the rest of their lives. I think this kind of thing is first on every one's list.

2) Trump It Up- that's right, people, I am talking real estate. Obviously I would get a huge NYC pad. I would probably then buy in Vancouver and London. Next would be Florida. I guess the big question in FLA would be where?

3) A Real Birthday Party For Jay-bee- I have always wanted to throw him a fantastic, huge birthday party. I would hire Morrissey for the entertainment and have it at some great roof top place. Yes, J, I would get you a great new bike and a Ben Sherman suit too!

4) My Own Theater Co.- its every theater geeks ambition. I would want to do something downtown and in black box. I think I could staff a full theater in a matter of 2 or 3 weeks. I just know too many people.

5) Non- Profit #1- this would be something involving education and health care for women and children in poverty. It may be parenting classes and some kind of child care center. My friend Liberal Julie would be in charge of this.

6) Non-Profit #2- There needs to be a magic company that "forgives" student loans for people in need. I would love to pay off some one's loan who really needs it.

7) Sayonara US Dept of Education- I would finally get around to paying off my student loan. I hate those people. If Bin Laden owed them money, they would be able to find him and call him 3 times a week!

8) 1 Year of Travel- start off on the West coast and just keep going west! I think I would have to buy a plane for this. I would love to see my passport covered in stamps! New Zealand, here I come.

More Important Than Boobs

2007-10-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

It is October and that means Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Yay for boobies! Boo for boobie cancer. While breast cancer is a serious women's health issue, there are a lot of health items that women should be aware of. Make sure you are getting a physical every year, girls AND boys. It is your first line of defense! Ask the most embarrassing question to your doctor first, that way you get it out of the way. Always trust your instincts about your body. Here is my list of

4 Serious Health Issues For Women

1) Heart Disease- this IS the #1 killer of women. While breast cancer will effect 1 in 8 women, heart disease will strike 1 in 3. That is a lot!!! Get your cholesterol checked regularly, girls.

2) Stroke- twice as many women die from strokes as men. Again with the cholesterol and don't forget to keep your blood pressure in check!

3) Lung Cancer- it is the #1 cancer killer for women. For some reason unknown to modern science, women's bodies are more prone to lung cancer. Ladies, put down the cigarettes. Please!

4) Alzheimer's Disease- this is such a frightening disease but the most frightening thing to me is that it effects 2.5 times more men than women. Make sure to get your omega 3 fatty acids for brain health.

College Mix

2007-10-04T20:53:00.001-04:00

I am low on ideas so I am rehashing an old idea. Feel free to add your stuff. I am sure there are some things I forgot!

10 Songs From My College Play List

1) Love Fool- The Cardigans
2) Mystery- The Indigo Girls
3) Caught A Lite Sneeze- Tori Amos
4) Jane Says- Jane's Addiction
5) Closing Time- Semisonic
6) Hand In My Pocket- Alanis Morrisette
7) Seasons Of Love- Rent cast
8) Gotta Be- Desiree
9) I'm Just A Girl- No Doubt
10) Foolish Games- Jewel

The War

2007-10-03T23:34:00.000-04:00

Tonight is the first night I haven't watched Ken Burns's documentary The War. I learned a shit load of stuff about World War II, much more than I learned in high school. It was also the most devistating film I have seen in a long time. I had heard WWII stories from family members from my family (and Jaybee's too) my entire life. This film made it so real I felt everyone's pain, pride, fear and relief. So basically the War sucked. It sucked hardcore. The home front was asked to sacrifice many things and everyone did their part willingly. While many, many things were horrible about The War here is my list of

5 Things That Didn't Suck About WWII

1) The Arts- the arts always get good in times of strife. Just think about some of the music and movies made during this time period. They are some of the best ever.

2) Fashion- everyone looked so good back then. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was all the men in uniform. I loved the women's make-up from then too.

3) The Road To Equality-there were no men left to work the factory jobs so women went to work. It was their patriotic duty. Well, we all know where this lead. Women found fulfillment outside the home. Blah, blah, blah. Sixty years later we have a woman running for president. The African American experience was a bit different. They fought and finally found some acceptance in the military and that all went to hell when they got home. Many of them returned to a still segregated South. There was still a lot to do.

4) Economy- nothing jump starts an economy like going to war , except if your President is George W Bush and the war is with Iraq. The post war boom was quite astonishing. It made the country's memories of The Great Depression fade. I also had a set of grandparents who remembered The Depression very well, so I heard plenty of those stories too.

5) Technology- science had to advance, lives depended on it. You could make the argument that it went a bit too far. The bomb was a really mixed thing.

I'm A Loser Baby . . .

2007-09-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

It is Friday night. As per usual, I am at home. I used to live for going out on Friday nights. However, my circumstances have changed and now I am home bound. So now the question becomes "What do I do on a Friday night?" Maybe every once in a while, you find yourself in the same predicament. Let Listy help you. It's ok. I have done this before. Here is my list of

5 Things To Do On A Friday Night At Home

1) Watch BBC America's Friday Night Line Up- The funniest full night of TV. There is The Office, Little Britain, and Ab Fab. So good. Make some margaritas and enjoy!

2) Surf The Web- get online and look at all the stuff you've been meaning to check out. You just might find something that will change your life or your mind.

3) Bejeweled- this game is like crack. I have actually had to take it off my bookmarks cause I started to ignore things in a bad way. This is a way to kill an hour in the blink of an eye. But be warned, you can never get that hour of your life back. Oh, the dilemma.

4) Your Fav Movie- Watch your favorite movie. It's been a while and it will remind you of all the things you love about it. Porn counts, if you insist.

5) Sex- OK, it probably isn't going to take the WHOLE night. It sure is fun though! Turn on some music, turn off the lights and get down. No one in your life? That is ok too. Get out your Magic Wand (or hand) and get down with your bad self. I have found that even if I am not in the mood, I am usually glad I decided to afterwards!!!

Things To Learn

2007-09-24T20:40:00.000-04:00

This is one of those lists that has been brewing in my mind for a long time now. It has been a while since I have learned to do something new. I like doing new things. It keeps your mind sharp and your soul young. What was the most recent thing you learned how to do? Here is my list of

6 Things To Learn

1) Knitting- I can crochet but I am not too keen on the way crocheting looks. Knitting always looks so nice. I like doing things with my hands where you can actually show someone what you've made

2) Quilting- It is such a cool old art form. I have seen some really graphic modern quilts that just look so cool!

3) Guitar- I think I can teach myself the basics. I think. I just think it would be fun to have an instrument under my belt that doesn't involve a bow and pianos are too big for my NYC apartment.

4) Tiling- I want to go to Home Depot and take a weekend tiling workshop one weekend and the next weekend retile someone's bathroom. I think its all the HGTV I watch. If I only had a house!

5) Chocolate Making- it always looks so easy on TV but I think this would be difficult. I want to make those fantastic chocolate sculptures that Jaques Torres makes on Food Network.

6) Final Cut Pro/ I Movie- I hate that Jaybee has all the say in the editing of the family videos. It isn't that he doesn't do a good job cause he does. But I want to try my hand at it too. Maybe he could teach me as a Christmas present (cough cough).

Explain It To Me Like I'm A Five Year Old

2007-09-18T22:25:00.000-04:00

I consider myself culturally astute. I try and try to be aware as to what is going on in the pop culture world. However, sometimes I come across something that everyone else is crazy about that I just do not get. If you have some kind of insight into any of the following items, please relay it to me. Here is my list of

5 Things I Don't Get

1) Justin Timberlake- why does everyone love him? There was so much hype about him going solo from NSYNC. How come? I keep waiting to be impressed and I am just not. Maybe I am too old to get JT. PS- I also feel this way about Joss Stone.

2) Uggs Boots- any stylist worth their salt will tell you this trend is dead cause it is awful. I never understood this because they are unflattering. This is a boot that makes super models look like they have cankles. It's NEVER pretty. I know a lot of people who own Uggs and I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but they are ugly and they make your legs look fat (and your legs probably aren't fat). Put the Uggs down, ladies.

3) 80's Trends- here is the deal with me and trends: if I can remember it the first time around or I wore it in the 6th grade, I am not wearing it again. Period. Not jelly shoes, not neon colors or legging or leg warmers. OK, maybe I would give leggings another try.

4) Fresh Direct- their customer service is so bad, I don't even know where it start with them. I know they are convenient, but who cares when it takes them 3 weeks to get a refund!

5) Curb Your Enthusiasm- This is just like Seinfeld, I can't seem to find the funny. Someone fill me in.

And Now For Something Completely Different

2007-09-11T09:37:00.000-04:00

Here is my annual list of

20 Things I Am Grateful For

1) New friends
2) Well family members
3) Active children
4) Nice weather
5) Silliness
6) Mani/Pedis
7) Date night
8) Good conversations
9) A good cup of coffee
10) Brave people
11) City life
12) Chocolate
13) Fall
14) Stillness
15) Musicals
16) Friend's birthdays
17) Texting
18) Moms
19) Iced Tea
20) Remembering

Like, OMG y'all

2007-09-10T09:03:00.000-04:00

Really, didn't we all see this coming? I think the only one who didn't see it was poor, sad, messy Britney. To say that her VMA performance was bad is being polite. Her job was to lip sync and dance and she did neither of those very well. What was she thinking? Was she thinking?

8 Possible Thoughts Britney Had During Her VMA Performance

1) That's so nice all these people showing up to the dress rehearsal.

2) I hope I left enough Co-cola with the nanny for Tater Tot.

3) Damn, y'all this is some good shit. Where am I?

4) What ARE the words to this song?

5) So I make $737,868 a month. Divide by 30 days. Carry the 4. $1024.82 an hour and that means I am making $57.56 during this show just by doing nothing. OK, that is not worth a lot of effort.

6) Why do they even bother micing me?

7) Did I wax today?

8) I miss that snake.

Worst Of Better Homes & Gardens 1968

2007-09-07T21:23:00.000-04:00

Every year Better Homes & Gardens puts out a cookbook. I was lucky enough to get my mom's. It has the best brownie recipe ever. It was also published in 1968. I have to admit its age is starting to show. Today I was flipping through it and found some of the most disgusting recipes I had ever heard of. Most of them involve meat and of those it is a lot of hot dogs. I promise my next entry will be about something other than food. Until then, here is my list of

7 Disgusting Recipes From BH&G Cookbook 1968

1) Chopstick Tuna- this scared me right away. The amount of tuna recipes in this book is scary and they all call for canned tuna.

2) Yankee Red Flannel Hash- I don't even know what this is.

3) Frank-vegetable Medley- I have never liked anything referred to as a medley on my plate. Now you want to throw hot dogs into the mix? I feel a little throw-up rising up in the back of my throat.

4) Hot Dog Delicious- this sounds like a bad porno to me which means I am not eating it. No matter what.

5) Porcupine Meatballs- I bet you thought they were made out of porcupine, didn't you? No but just having it in the title puts people off. Not good.

6) Sparkling Beet Cups- If you read this blog on a regular basis, you know that we at the LL hate beets. Strike one. The words sparkling and beets to not go together. Strike two. I don't even think I am going to let this one get to strike three. I am calling it out now.

7) Nutty Pups- this is an appetizer made with hot dogs and peanut butter. They should just call this cookbook 101 Gross Things To Make With Hot Dogs. I should just have a party and make all this nasty food. Anyone want to come?

Southern Fried Delicious

2007-09-06T14:08:00.000-04:00

Usually when I get a bit homesick, it manifests itself in my desire to eat all things southern. I attempted to make BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for Thud's birthday and I think it left me (and all the other southern folks) wanting the real thing. There are specifics that I like about southern food and you may be surprised- they aren't all deep fried! Here is my list of

10 Favorite Southern Foods

1) Fried Green Tomatoes- these are sooo yummy. If I am craving them here, I go to Delta Grill.

2) Fried Chicken- I love it. My MIL makes wonderful fried chicken. She said it was the first thing Mamaw ever taught her how to cook. Things aren't southern unless they are made with love!

3) Sweet Tea- not too sweet and with lemon please! When I make this at home now I don't sweeten it cause its not so good for you that way. When I go home, I only order it sweet!

4) Corn Bread- when you make this in a cast iron skillet it gets a fantastic crust on the bottom that is very good! Thud is in love with cornbread right now.

5) Grits- there are a lot of things you can do with grits. I learned to eat them with butter and sugar on them- that's the Yankee way. Southerners usually have a fried egg on top of theirs in the morning. I also am a big fan of shrimp and grits.

6) BBQ Ribs- There is something so good about eating ribs in someone's backyard on a hot day. In Florida it is hot out 9 months of the year so it isn't just a summer thing.

7) Alligator- I like alligator and it isn't just like chicken. This is becoming more popular cause it is so good. Yes, this one is deep fried!

8) Coleslaw- I like my coleslaw on the tangy side not the sweet side. Virgil's in NYC has the best coleslaw I've ever eaten. I always get it as my 2 sides! I think it has pickles in it.

9) Banana Pudding- mmmm. One of my favorite desserts. Tinselteeth makes some of the best banana pudding you will ever eat. Home made love!

10) Home Made Biscuits- mine always come out like little hockey pucks. There is nothing quite like a warm soft biscuit for breakfast, maybe with a little bacon!

Not A List- Lists on Holiday

2007-09-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

This is why I worship at the alter of Tori Amos. Listen to the lyrics carefully. They are fantastic.

High School Music

2007-08-30T20:02:00.000-04:00

Due to various events over the past few days, I have been thinking about the music I listened to in high school. Various events in my life have been intrinsically tied to music and that period was no different.Most of the memories of these songs involve one of two things: singing them in the car or a boy who broke my heart. I guess that was what high school was all about for me! Here is my list of

10 Songs From My High School Playlist

1) Losing My Religion- R.E.M.

2) Stay- Lisa Loeb

3) Pictures Of You- The Cure

4) Tainted Love- Soft Cell

5) All Apologies- Nirvana

6) More Than Words- Extreme

7) This Used To Be My Playground- Madonna

8) Linger- The Cranberries

9) Candy- Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson

10) Tear In Your Hand- Tori Amos

Life Story

2007-08-29T10:19:00.000-04:00

Thud has confessed to me that he has been doing a lot of thinking since his birthday. He thinks it is time to share his story with the world. He was been secretly working on his autobiography. I read a second draft and I have to say it isn't half bad- maybe I am just saying that cause I am his mom. Now we just have to shop the thing around! The next step in the process is getting a working title. Here is my list of

6 Working Titles For Thud's Autobiography

1) I'm Two and I Don't Have To Take It Anymore
2) A Boy and His Bike- A Love Story
3) The Well Dressed Boy
4) I'm Not Your Monkey
5) Little Daredevil
6) Slap Happy

Thud 2.0

2007-08-23T20:29:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it. My tiny little baby isn't really anything resembling a baby anymore. Today Thud turned 2. He is taking on all of the text book two year old behavior. He is saying "mine" and "no" a lot more. However, he is still the same great little boy underneath the terrible twos exterior. In the midst of a fit he'll do something funny. That's how it works- just in the middle of making me crazy and then he does something that makes me just want to squeeze him I love him so much . Here is my list of

3 Things I Love About Thud (The Reader's Digest Version)

1) The Laugh- that is what most people comment on when they meet Thud. He has had a great laugh since he was about 5 months old. I love it. There are many things I love about him but this one is my favorite!

2) The Tape Recorder Effect- he has this habit of repeating everything we say at home. I mean EVERYTHING. Most recently, I was bringing in the groceries while trying to wrangle him in the lobby of our building. I said "This is a nightmare" while putting 40 lbs of groceries down to wrangle him from the stairs. 30 minutes later I hear "This is a nightmare". I have to say it keeps me honest and I need that.

3) The Element of Surprise- sometimes I don't even know he knows some of the things he says. He just knows stuff. He is even starting to conjugate some verbs. OK, color me impressed!

It's So Easy Bein' Green

2007-08-21T15:50:00.000-04:00

Vivi was telling me the other day about her new purchase. No, not a new Iphone or great jeans- new shopping bags that she can take to the store with her! They are made from recycled material and now she doesn't have to use up a million plastic bags either. There are lots of little things we can all do that are easy and earth friendly. Let's face it, you can't argue against global warming anymore. The question now becomes what do we do to reduce it? Here are the LL's

10 Favorite Easy Things You Can Do To Be Green

1) Farmer's Market- you want to but you never seem to get there. Now there is a reason to go!Buying locally grown food cuts down on green house gases produced cause your food had a lot less distance to travel.

2) 1 Napkin Rule- take one napkin when you are out at a restaurant where they have paper napkins. If you need another one by all means take another one. But how many times do you take like 3 and wind up just throwing them all away?

3) Veggie Day-The production and processing of grains require far less water and land than meat. Crazy huh! Take one day a week and go vegetarian. The world and your body will thank you.

4) Public Transportation- here in NYC this is easy to do. In other places though, there are still things you can do to cut down on your use of your vehicle. Try car pooling, walking, biking or taking mass transit. More alternatives to the car mean less pollution, gridlock and urban sprawl. Email local politicians in your area to see what they are doing about alternative transportation.

5) Recycle- simple, I know. If your area has recycling, USE IT!!

6) Off- if it isn't in use, turn it off. This goes for lights, a/c units, faucets, ect. My grandfather used to holler about this kind of stuff all the time when I was a kid. Who knew that he wasn't just a cheapskate, he was an environmentalist!

7) Grandparent's Mentality- adopt your grandparents mentality about wastefulness. My grandparents lived through the depression and they could make anything last forever and they also knew how to use something and not have any waste.

8) Get Rid Of Junk Mail- there are ways to get off those annoying mailing lists. Just read what they are sending you and they usually tell you how to do it.

9) Biodegradable Dish Detergent- regular dish soap is petroleum based! Yuck! I found a biodegradable brand that I like. You can get it at Target so I am guessing you can find this stuff everywhere.

10) Cleaning- clean your bathroom and kitchen with a combination of vinegar and baking soda- use vinegar and newspaper to clean mirrors and windows- dust with a microfiber duster (its reusable, you just throw it in the washing machine)

Bad Badder Baddest

2007-08-15T20:49:00.000-04:00

Jane has offered a bit of a challenge to me. She just did an entry on 8 Interesting Things About Me and passed the torch on to me. My problem is that I can't think of 8 Interesting Things About Me since I did my list of 100 Things About Me. I thought and thought all day. Then it came to me in a flash. Today's list is of all the things I am bad at. Pull up a chair and get comfy. Here is my list of

8 Things I Am Bad At

1) Cleaning- I have mentioned this before. I usually am just going for tidy when I am cleaning up. This almost always means that after I clean up I find something left behind.

2) Scrabble and Rummikube- my mom is the master Scrabble player. I have never won a game of Scrabble in my life and I have only won like 4 games of Rummikube. My brain just doesn't work that way I guess.

3) Lying- I don't like to lie so when I do it, I have all the classic tells. I usually get busted.

4) Keeping It In- if something is bothering me, I have to talk about it. I can't just be silent.

5) Making Risotto- I can cook a lot of things, and this isn't one of them. I almost always screw it up. It is either under done and chewy or a mushy mess. I just can't seem to get it right.

6) Running- I still walk a good portion of the running leg of all my triathlons. One day I will really be able to run, I hope!

7) Skiing- never let a Florida girl on a ski slope. It was pathetic when I tried down hill skiing. Little kids went zooming past me pointing and laughing. They even had to stop the tow rope on the bunny hill cause I got caught up in it. Mortifying!

8) Writing- ironic for someone with a blog. Jaybee says it was because I never had to write a lot of papers in college. I just think I never worked out my writing "muscle". Part of why I decided to start doing this blog was to improve my writing skills.

Change The Dial

2007-08-12T21:48:00.000-04:00

From songs I like onto songs I hate. Much of my list is stuff from the 90's cause that was when I did the majority of my music listening and hating. I like a variety of stuff so it really takes a lot for me to hate a song. I should preface this list by saying that there is one singer that I will not listen to and that honor goes to Celine Dion. I hate her. OK so now on to my list of

14 Songs I Use Earplugs For

1) Mambo #5- Lou Bega

2) How Bizarre- OMC

3) Life Is A Highway- Tom Cochrane

4) Blame It On The Rain- Milli Vanilli

5) Rico Suave- Gerardo

6) All For The Nookie- Limp Biscuit

7) Toxic- Britney Spears

8) She Bangs- Ricky Martin

9) Cotton Eyed Joe- Rednex

10) Keep Your Hands To Yourself- Georgia Satellites

11) Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm- Crash Test Dummies

12) Summer Girls- LFO

13) Courtesy Of The Red White and Blue- Toby Keith

14) We Built This City- Jefferson Starship

Let It Flow To The 5 Boroughs

2007-08-10T14:23:00.000-04:00

I can not remember the last concert I went to that wasn't kids music so when the opportunity came up for Jaybee to go see the Beastie Boys play at McCarren Park Pool, I invited myself along. When I couldn't find a babysitter I decided to take Thud. Despite getting peed on 5 minutes before the show started, I had such a good time! The show was awesome. The visuals on stage were great and the energy level was as high as the crowd. I admit it wasn't the best environment for my 2 year old but he wasn't the only one there in diapers. I did teach him to say "No sleep till Brooklyn". Here is my list of

10 Favorite Beastie Boys Songs

1) No Sleep Till Brooklyn
2) Slow And Low
3) Sabotage
4) So Wat'cha Want
5) Body Movin'
6) Sure Shot
7) Hey Ladies
8) Hold It Now, Hit It
9) An Open Letter To NYC
10) She's Crafty

The People That You Meet When You're Walkin Down The Street

2007-08-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

Who would you like to meet? Here is my list of

6 People I'd Like To Have Coffee With

1) Alton Brown- he's entertaining and smart. We have similar interests (food and theater) and I just love his shows. Besides, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't make such kick-ass fried chicken.

2) Lynne Cox- this woman has swam all over the world. Her book, Swimming To Antarctica, is one of my all time favorites. She's an inspiration.

3) Dr Memhet Oz- yeah, he's that doctor that's on Oprah. He is just a fountain of knowledge, I have a list of questions for him. I bet he wouldn't have coffee though, more like white tea with agave nectar. Something weird and healthy like that.

4) Emma Thompson- she is my favorite actress ever. I just think she is brilliant and funny and all that good stuff. Where is her episode of Inside The Actor's Studio?

5) Dave Chappelle- I would like to talk to him about the state of the world and social issues. Sure he is a comedian but I think he is more of a social commentator.

6) Mary Harron- she make wonderful, interesting independent films. Picking her brain for an hour would be an honor.

Changes

2007-07-31T21:13:00.000-04:00

I, like Madonna, believe that the unexamined life is not worth living. I am always striving to be a better person. I know I have flaws. I am trying to fix them. Well, I know I can't fix everything but maybe make my flaws less than they are now. I guess there isn't much more to say than here is my list of

3 Flaws I'd Like To Fix

1) Impatient- I am not a good wait-er. I just hate sitting or standing around with nothing to do. I am also impatient in general with people. I thought becoming a mom would have given me more patience but it just didn't. At least not as much as I think I need. Every day I try to be a bit more of a patient parent than I was the day before. I am lucky that I have a kid who doesn't regularly test me.

2) Complainer- I like to complain. As an adult, I realized that I get this from my mother who also likes to complain. I will complain about anything really. I hear myself sometimes and think, "you're doing it again, just shut up" but its so ingrained in my behavior that it isn't that simple.

3) Procrastinate- yes, I too note the irony of this combined with flaw #1. I put off many things in my life that I just don't want to deal with. It always comes back to bite me in the ass later. Currently, it is my weight. I am now seeing the effects of being overweight for a while on my health. At least I know when the procrastinating has gone on too long.

Don't Force It

2007-07-28T22:16:00.000-04:00

At my house, the TV is usually my domain. I have the remote, I know what all the channels are, ect. At about 8 PM Jaybee and I assume the "positions". He sits at the computer and I am on the couch. For some reason, for the last month, Jaybee has taken over the TV. He likes to watch crap I am not the least bit interested in. Please hear me out. Here is my list of

TV I Am Forced To Watch

1) The Tour De France- I have to watch this every July. Sometimes I get to watch it in the morning (live) and again at night. I don't get road racing as a sport anyway. It's a team but only one guy wins? WTF? Also, Al Troutwig is the most annoying sports commentator alive and he always works the Tour.

2) UFC- I have ranted about this one before. It is still the most violent "real life" thing I have ever seen.

3) Motocross racing- Jaybee doesn't even like motorcycles. I am not sure why I have to suffer through this as well. I think I may have married a redneck and didn't even know it. Is that possible?
4) Thomas The Tank Engine- OK, so Jaybee doesn't make me watch this one- Thud does. That doesn't make it any better. This is one of the worst children's shows ever made. Its not even so ridiculous that you can poke fun at it. It is just dull. It also has no educational value whatsoever.

The Ultimate Space Cadet

2007-07-26T16:07:00.000-04:00

In a move that is proof we here at the LL are natural blonds, we forgot our own birthday. We are wishing ourselves a belated Happy Birthday. For those of you who don't know, we turned one on July 21st! Happy blogging everyone!

What I'm Into 3.0

2007-07-17T22:16:00.000-04:00

From time to time, we like to keep you the reading public informed as to what the LL is into. Since we tend to be groundbreaking with our items. I don't think I need to remind you the we had Pearl the Landlord posted before a lot of other people but I digress. So, there are some things we've been obsessing over as of late. You know what I mean- those things you can't get our of your head. Here is our list of

Current Obsessions of the LL

1) Alexia Garlic Bread- I am not the bread person in my house. Bread is usually just ok to me. I have now found the Holy Grail of bread. It is the best thing ever. I can eat half the loaf. I don't get to eat the other half cause I would have to fight Jay Bee to the death to get to it. Its the new Fairway Salsa. I just found out they make a twin pack. God help me.

2) Flight Of The Conchords-I usually obsess over one show every summer and this is it for this year. If all my friends got together and made a show it would be kind of like this. The boys are cute in that indie rock way and their one fan is very funny. I am not usually into comedy acts that sing and play guitar but this really works!

3) Perez Hilton- I read this blog like 3 times a day at least. How am I supposed to know what all the hot celeb gossip is? Besides they show all the really horrible beav shots uncensored.

4) Funniest Website Right Now- you have to click on the link to find out what it is. I can promise you this- it won't disappoint.

Cinematic Cycles

2007-07-09T21:24:00.000-04:00

The summer movie season is here. It seems to be all over the place. Someone still needs to explain to me how they made a movie out of Transformer toys. There are a lot of things on my list of "to see" but there is one particular genre that has me excited: the movie franchise. There are a couple of really good ones coming out this season. I have to go see them and I haven't been to the movies in months. Here is my list of

5 Favorite Movie Franchises

1) The Borne series- these are the thinking person's action movies. You have to pay attention and you also get awesome fight scenes. The first and only time I ever thought Matt Damon was hot was in the Borne Identity.

2) Die Hard series- these are the quintessential summer fun movies. If Die Hard With A Vengeance comes on, I have to watch it until it is over. Yippy Ky-A, motherfuckers!

3) Harry Potter series- I saw some of the movies before I started reading the books. Some of these movies are so much fun.

4) Lord Of The Rings series- nerd alert! I know, I was one of those people who waited at the open for the 2nd and 3rd LOTR movies. The stories really do stand the test of time. The films are very well made. This is the only series on the list that is complete.

5) Indiana Jones series- oh my, I can't wait to see this new one! I hope it is worth the wait. The 2nd one gave me nightmares as a kid. It was the one where they took the guy's heart out of his chest while it was still beating. Sean Connery was great in the 3rd one- what a charmer!

The MacGyver Syndrome

2007-07-06T15:55:00.000-04:00

I have to admit it, I don't have the best luck. Weird things happen to me on a regular basis. Out of this I have developed the ability to fix things using the most odd means. Today was no different. How do you fix a broken flip flop when you are 12 blocks from home and there is nowhere to buy anything that resembles a replacement? Simple- use a key! There are lots of interesting little things you can use in an emergency situation. Here is my list of

6 Cool Emergency Quick Fixes

1) A Key To Fix a Flip Flop- just dig a new hole to put the thong back in the sole. When I did this today it worked great and lasted me until I got home from the park!

2) Erasures As Emergency Earring Backs- if you have ever seen "Just One Of The Guys", you probably know this one. It really works.

3) Thread Used As Dental Floss- At dinner at my Senior Prom, I got a poppy seed stuck in my front teeth. I went to the bathroom and tried to dig it out. A toothpick didn't work. No luck with anything. Then it occurred to me. I pulled a thread out of the seam of my dress and flossed it right out.

4) A Tampon For A Bloody Nose- you are going to look weird, there is no two ways about that. However, if you are really gushing this works. I think having a nose gushing blood looks worse than your nose with a tampon shoved up there. Thoughts?

5) Pantyhose As A Fan Belt- I am not sure where the fan belt is but I know that I can tie pantyhose together and use them as a replacement. Cool!

6) Matchbooks Make Good Nail Files- I hate hang nails. This is a good way to fix them. If you are out on the town, match books are readily available.

That Ain't Right

2007-07-02T22:02:00.000-04:00

There are some things in this world that just aren't supposed to go together. You know what I mean. You look at something and just say, "What the fuck?". I admit it happens to me pretty regularly. Here is my list of

5 Things That Are Just Not Right

1) Pizza in the South- hear me out, its like trying to get real bbq in New York City. They try but there is always something just not right. I've read that the people who make pizza here in New York swear by the tap water here. Maybe that is it.

2) Pick up Trucks In NYC- why would you want to parallel park a pick up truck? Besides, there aren't red necks in New York, right!

3) Britney Spears and kids- ok who didn't see this disaster coming a mile away? I hope she got her tubes tied. Those poor little boys!

4) Paula Abdul on Reality TV- I watch as much reality tv as the next person but this is too much. I think she is nuts and her reality is my nightmare.

5) Skinny Women Complaining About Their Weight- If you wear a single digit clothing size, I can't even talk to you about your new diet. Why? Cause I hate you. You aren't fat. You probably don't even need to loose weight. What you need is a grip. Get one!

In Case You Didn't Know Its 2007

2007-06-27T13:22:00.000-04:00

I am shocked sometimes at things that go on in the world today. We now live in the 21st century and it is truly a global society. I am also shocked that there are people who are so far behind in their technology. Let me give you some examples. Here is my list of

4 Things That Shouldn't Even Exist in 2007

1) The N Word- I shouldn't have to even mention this one but then today I saw a story on the Today Show about a soccer team of refugee kids in Georgia. The other soccer coach called one of the kids the N word. I was speechless. Who let him even be a soccer coach. This is not 1877- its 2007. Get with the program, stupid ass rednecks!

2) Cold Showers- My other half has the technology in our living room to make movies and distribute them (no not porn) and I can't get a shower that is a consistent temperature. Why? Is it that hard? I am guessing it isn't but that the management company for my building is cheap.

3) The Inability To Find Iraq On A Map- we've been there for 4 years and it is on the news every night. How can you not know this one? For shame!

4) The "I Don't Have A Cell Phone/ Email address" Excuse- I actually know someone who just got their first cell phone. Really. A lot of people think if I have a cell phone I have to be in touch with people. To that I say don't answer your phone. You never know when you will have an emergency. I also have little patience for people who don't have email. I also know one of those crazies. Oh he has a computer but he only uses it to watch porn. Yuck!

Life Skills- Get Some!

2007-06-25T14:49:00.000-04:00

The topic of life skills came up in a conversation I had the other day. Which ones were important, how we learned some of them, when we learned some of them. Everyone learns things in a different way. I am one of those people who can figure out what not to do by watching someone else screw things up. Some people need to make mistakes on their own. Sometimes several times! Which one are you?

Now as a parent, when I think about the things I want to teach Thud, I think about some things I think he needs to know. I kept this in mind when I was making my list of

6 Important Life Skills Everyone Should Know

1) The Difference Between nauseous "I have a stomach ache" and nauseous "I have to throw up like NOW"- this is good to know for travel. But in general its good to know just as a courtesy to the people you are around.

2) Cooking- this escapes me completely cause you need to eat to survive. Yet I know plenty of people who can't cook past boiling water. I am married to one of them. I decided a while ago that all of my children will learn to cook whether they want to or not. Before I ship them off to college they will do Food Week- it will be their job to prepare dinner every night for 7 days. I guess this comes from being the sole food maker in my home.

3) Asking For Help- everyone needs help sometimes. You should have a good sense as to what your limits are.

4) Know What To Do- Where do you go to register your new car? What should you do if your landlord is screwing you? These are things as an adult you should know how to handle or should find out how to handle all on your own. Find out these things that you will need to get it done!

5) Trust Your Instincts- we've all heard it it is that little voice in the back of your mind that tells you what to do in certain situations. So many times we ignore it. Over the course of my life I have learned that that is a big mistake. You know what to do, all you have to do is listen!

6) Make A Tasty Cocktail- its a good skill that can help smooth over a lot of things. Just think how impressed your future father-in-law would be if you handed him the best martini he's ever had. He'd never think poorly of you again! Everyone is a little nicer after a lovely cocktail!

Hell No, Daddy-O

2007-06-17T20:45:00.000-04:00

Over the course of my life I have come to realize that I have had good men around me. My other half has proven to be the father I had hoped and more. My dad really got his shit together and in my adult life has come through for me in so many ways. My step father has been wonderful about taking care of my mother. I look around, however and see some less than desirable dads. I am glad for all the dads in my life. Here is my list of

6 Bad Dads (Real and Fictional)

1) OJ Simpson- this one is pretty obvious. He could be the worst father in history. How fucked up are his kids?

2) Tony Soprano- oh dear. He really is a sociopath. He is one of those dads where you never know when he's gonna blow up at you. That's always a treat.

3) Tommy Lee- there's the sex tape, the drug/ drinking history, the abuse accusations, blah, blah, blah. I could go on and on with him. I am sad to know that this sexist jerk is "helping" to raise two boys.

4) Ted Nugent- aaaahhhhhhh!

5) Frank Barrone- crass and mean, a winning combination! He says whatever, whenever. He also lacked social skills. He does have his moments though.

6) Michael Lohan- is it any surprise that LaLohan is the mess that she is? Just look at papa. He punched someone at a family event, did time for fraud and has done a stint in rehab.

Older But No Wiser

2007-06-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

I was out with the girls tonight. The subject of drinking in our pre-baby days came up and we started to trade a few war stories. For me, when drinking comes up, throw up stories are quick to follow. I have come to realize I have thrown up more from drinking between the ages of 25-30 than during my college years. So stupid! The most ironic thing about this is that I HATE to throw up. I will avoid throwing up at almost all costs. Over the years I have learned some tricks so that I don't have to spew. Here is my list of

4 Tricks To Avoid Throwing Up

1) Brush Your Teeth- works for me almost every time.

2) Eat A Breath Mint- something about mint is calming to the stomach. I like Mentos for this. The chewing is good too cause it sends saliva to your tummy to help things out.

3) Drink Some Coca- Cola- this is one of those remedies that peoples grandmothers swear by. Everyone needs a little soda once in a while!

4) Snack On Crystallized Ginger- something about ginger to me is a bit spicy but it has a calming effect on the tummy. You could use any form of ginger really, so anything from ginger ale to pickled ginger off a sushi plate would do in a pinch. Hopefully you don't feel like throwing up!

Why Do I Do This?

2007-06-13T20:52:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I am watching Last Comic Standing. I HATE this show. However, I worked with a bunch of stand up comics a few years ago and every once in a while one one of them shows up on this show. I find that I am doing this a lot lately, things I hate doing. As a grown-up, I guess it is just the way things go. Here is my list of

5 Things I Hate Doing (but do anyway)
1) Eat Broccoli- I hate those little green trees. They are bitter and a weird texture. I know they are good for me and I want to like them. The only way I can manage to get them down is with cheese and rice, or mixed in with something like a stir-fry. Yuck!

2) Go On A Diet- I've never been on a diet before in my life. As of yesterday I am on a diet. I am finding it very difficult. I just want to eat lots of bacon. That's not normal.

3) Answer The Phone- I have come to dread the phone as of late. I would rather get a text message or an email or talk via IM. I guess I have moved on in to the 21st century. Besides, the phone usually brings bad news. I don't want bad news.

4) Do Dishes- Least favorite household chore, hands down. I would rather change a poopy diaper than do dishes. Since I do not have a dish washer they take forever. I also hate sticking my hand into a sink of dishes that have been soaking. Its so gross. Yuck!

5) Go To The Park- I like the park, generally speaking. I just go there every day twice a day. It gets to be a bit much. It has become like going to work. I look forward to rain days just so that I am not doing the same thing every single day. I have no idea what I am going to be doing when the weather gets cold.

The Fat Lady Sings

2007-06-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

I waited all week for tonight. Sunday night is Sopranos night at our house. And here it was, the Sunday night of all Sunday nights. I made a "special" themed dinner. Hell, I even made dessert (tiramisu)! So 9 PM rolls around and the TV goes to HBO and I proceed to watch one of the most anticlimactic series finales that I have ever set my eyes upon. At least it wasn't a dream. Since I think complainers should offer up solutions, I have decided to do just that. Here is my list of

3 Alternate Sopranos Series Finale Endings

1) The Bloody Way- in this version, the NY crew picks off people one at a time until they get to Tony in a huge shootout. Not original, no but more interesting than what they came up with.

2) The Family Way- the kids get whacked and T goes nuts and kills, like everyone. I thought something was going to happen to AJ but no such luck.

3) The Snitches Way- Paulie turns on Tony and sells him out to the NY crew. They have been hinting at this for a bit on the show. I think this is the way they should have gone.

Paris is Burning

2007-06-08T23:35:00.000-04:00

Admit it, we all love a celebrity crisis and we've just hit the mother load. What the hell is going on with this Paris Hilton jail/no jail thing? Crazy! As of Friday night she is back in jail and now ordered to serve a longer sentence. Apparently, there was some medical issue and the LA County sheriff's office thought they should release her from jail. Doesn't this ring a bell with ANYONE? She is "faking" sick to get out of something she doesn't want to do. Paris, honey, you aren't supposed to want to go to jail or have a good time there. It is supposed to be gross and scary. That is why its a punishment. Here is my list of

5 Things Paris Hilton Has To Go Without in Jail
1) No vagina flashing. Well, maybe. Depends on the other inmates, I guess.
2) No Paparazzi. She can't be a media whore and then complain that they follow her everywhere.
3) No Pinkberry. A lack of froyo really is criminal.
4) No shopping. There is a strong possibility that the US national economy is going to take a hit because Hilton isn't out shopping.
5) No booze/parties/drugs/boys. What the fuck is she going to go with all that free time? Read?

Bad Songs

2007-06-06T13:59:00.000-04:00

I was at a friend's house the other day and the radio was on. I never listen to the radio anymore. I guess it is because I don't drive much now. A Shania Twain song came on as I was leaving and out on the street, I found myself humming the crappy pop tune. I guess its true, even though I consider myself a music snob, there are a handful of bad songs that I really like. Here is my list of

7 Crappy Pop Songs That I (secretly) Like

1) Still The One- Shania Twain very typical of a pop love song. I have to admit, I like the idea of the romance of this.

2) Close To You- The Carpenters I love The Carpenters and it is all my mother's fault. This was the easy listening music of its day. There is just something about Karen Carpenter's voice that I find mesmerizing.

3) I'll Be There For You- Bon Jovi I guess this just takes me back. All of a sudden I am 16 and dreaming of love.

4) I'll Be- Edwin McCain The ultimate mid 90's cheesy one hit wonder.

5) Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go)- Wham! This song was bad, even down to the video. However, it ALWAYS makes me happy. Hearing this is like a shot of good mood. I used to listen to this during my first stint at summer stock, when I was sitting at a sewing machine 15 hours a day about to jump out the window.

6) Ready To Go- Republica Makes me want to dance like no one is looking. You have probably heard this song on a car commercial or something like that. It's just fun.

7) Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy This band is a bit odd. They are a pop band that wants to be an emo band. If you are 15, you probably think they are original and you've never heard anything like them. If you are a bit older, you know better. I still really like this one.

Queen Of The Universe

2007-06-04T21:32:00.000-04:00

If you actually read this blog on a regular basis, you could probably guess that we here at the LL do not watch beauty pageants. However, we caught the beginning of the Miss Universe 2007 pageant. What a treat! We highly recommend watching this spectacle. It just may become a "must-watch" in our house every year. Here is our list of

5 Awesomely Bad Miss Universe National Costumes

1) Dominican Republic- she is wearing a coral reef AND 2 dolphins. You've got to be kidding!

2) France- incorporating your national colors into an outfit doesn't make it a costume. I thought the French had good fashion sense. This thing was scary!

3) Puerto Rico- slutty pirate is their national outfit. That explains why my husband wants to go to Puerto Rico.

4) USA- apparently our national costume is fat Elvis in a white jumpsuit. I am considering revoking my citizenship.

5) Serbia- She isn't even dressed up like anything but a slut. At least you should have a theme for your slutyness.

Hate Is Not A Family Value

2007-05-20T13:43:00.000-04:00

I had some interesting feelings the other day when I launched CNN.com and found out the Jerry Falwell had died. I don't wish death on anyone. Not even someone who thinks I am going to burn in Hell for all eternity. Then I was a bit relieved that there would be one less hate-monger in the world. It is strange to me that a totally crazy person can become a spiritual leader to many many people and then get on TV to preach ignorance and intolerance. If you don't have your Jerry Falwell quotes memorized, I will be happy to refresh your mind. After looking at all these ridiculous statements, I wept for man kind. I have to say that there were many of these to choose from. Here is my list of

8 Of The Most Ridiculous Jerry Falwell Statements

1) " Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."- Wow. I guess that whole "us against them" thing didn't wash with Jerry. My MIL who teaches Bible study every week to 400 women loves Billy Graham. I don't think she would agree with this one.

2) "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."- This is just so ego driven. Maybe billions of people COULD be wrong.

3) "I had a student ask me, 'Could the Saviour you believe in save Osama Bin Laden?' Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him and then he must be executed."- The sanctity of life thing only applies to the unborn. I didn't know that- thanks for clearing that up, Jer.

4) "The ACLU's got to take a lot of the blame for this (Sept. 11th)"- I was unaware that the ACLU had that much power. I thought the Christian right took that away from them.

5) "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."- Well, this is just hate and ignorance run amok. Jerry sure hated the gays. That makes me wonder. Many psychologists think that what you hate the most can sometimes be what you actually are. I am not saying Jerry Falwell was gay but maybe.

6) "Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."- I don't even know where to start with this one. There are so many things to make fun of and it is such a short quote!

7) "Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."- (mouth agape in horror)

8) " He is purple- the gay pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle- the gay pride symbol. The character, whose voice is that of a little boy, has been found carrying a red purse in many episodes and has become a favorite character among gay groups world wide."- This means that Jerry Falwell watched more than 1 episode of The Teletubbies. Scary!

No Thanks, I'm Full

2007-05-16T21:41:00.000-04:00

I am back from the Sunshine State. Many things happened on the 5 day trip- first trips to Disney, a night with no baby, and a really fun triathlon. The race want well and I had my own cheering section which was great! One of my favorite things to do after a big race that starts at 6 AM is to go out to breakfast. We headed out to Krispy Kreme of course. The "Hot Donuts Now" sign was all lit up and they were good. I thought I would be able to put away at least 3 maybe even 4. I couldn't do it. I had to stop at 2. I can really put some things away. However, there are some things that I just can't eat a lot of. I wonder why that is. Here is my list of

3 Foods I Can't Eat A Lot Of
1) Ice Cream- I know many, many people that can sit down and in one sit com, eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's. Not me. Never could. Maybe it's all the dairy. No, that isn't it. I guess its the cold.

2) Donuts- as mentioned above, I just can't eat that many. They are good. I like them. They just aren't one of my "stuff your face" foods. All the better I guess.

3) Potato Chips- I like potatoes. I like them a lot. I eat them in all forms. Lay's BBQ is my potato chip of choice. But I can only eat one of those snack size bags of chips. I guess I can eat just one.

Them's Good Eatin'

2007-05-09T12:39:00.000-04:00

I leave for Florida tomorrow and have so may things to do before I take off. My list of what to pack and things to get done seems a mile long. When you have a kid, food planning becomes an important part of your day. Snacks? Check. Drink? Check. Since they stopped serving food on the plane a while ago, I have to make sure I bring enough for Thud's lunch. I don't worry about food for the adults. Why? Cause there is a Chick-Fil-A at the Orlando airport. This brings me to the topic of the day. When I get around to going to Florida, the one thing I am concerned about is eating at places I don't have in New York. You can get just about any type of food here, but there are some things that they just can't replicate or have. Here is my list of

5 Musts To Eat At In Orlando

1) Chick-Fil-A- this is a southern chicken place and they really do make the best chicken sandwiches on Earth. The closest one to us here in NYC is in Paramus NJ. That's a bit of a haul for a sandwich. This is also the ONLY fast food place I feel like I can feed my kid.

2) Rolondo's- where are the Cubans in NYC? I really am having a hard time finding Cuban food. This place is great and run by a nice family. God, I miss this place.

3) Bubbaloo's- I say the name of this place with a tear in my eye. When I lived in Orlando, there was only one place to go for BBQ. That place was B's BBQ. It has since shut the door on both locations and my trips back haven't been the same. Bubbaloo's is a shadow of what B's was. But it still beats NYC 'Q hands down any day of the week.

4) Cafe Tu Tu Tango- It's full of tourists, very loud and a chain but I still like it anyway! I am a big fan of tapas so they have me right there. Then come to find out they make a great sangria too. Yum!

5) Any decent seafood place- The seafood places in Florida are just so fresh and good. I love seafood so I will go to any non-chain restaurant in Florida for it. Why are shrimp so delicious?

Tourists Rules!

2007-05-06T13:16:00.000-04:00

I still am not sure why I did it. I guess we needed something to do. Every time I go to Times Square I vow never to return, but yesterday I strapped Thud into his subway friendly stroller and off we went. We had a destination- Toys R Us. We had a mission- toys for the plane ride to Florida. Mission accomplished I guess but it was a difficult mission. I just wanted to shout "Stay to the right" as everyone was walking all over the place as slow as could be. That was when it came to me. It should be mandatory for hotels to give out a sheet of general rules for tourists here in the Big Apple. Well, thanks! I think it is a good idea, too! Since I am Chairperson of the Committee To Set Tourists Straight, I have made up the 1st edition of the rule sheet. Here is my list of

7 Rules For Tourists To Follow in NYC

1) Walk to the right- that's right, just walk like you're driving. That allows people to pass you if needed! All natives need this on a shirt I think.

2) No more than 2 people wide- if you have a large group, that doesn't mean you get to clog the sidewalks. Think deep instead of wide.

3) Act like you know where you are going- this just means that you should walk with purpose. Please, no lolly gagging in the big city.

4) Find interesting things to do- everyone and their mother wants to go to the same places to see the same things. There are other parts of NYC besides mid town. There are other places to eat besides The Olive Garden and Pizzeria Uno's.

5) If you need directions just ask- we don't bite and I bet it will save you a lot of time and headache just to ask someone.

6) Don't videotape- what a waste of time. You are missing all the good stuff going on around you while you videotape the Cup O Noodles sign. Besides, how many times are you really going to watch it?

7) Stay up to date- a lot of the cool places of "old" New York just aren't the same. Sure, you can go to Rainbow Room & Carnegie Hall but they don't have the clout they used to. Get online or read up on what is new and interesting. The city changes all the time.